Addicted to a Pleasure Called Sex?
The article portrays the potential behaviour of sex to be an addiction, also mentions of its behavioural pattern and gives ways to recognise sex addiction. Includes a questionnaire, some facts and myths and the vulnerable group.
From the era of Adam and Eve; sex symbolizes an expression of love, intimacy, emotions, and physical pleasure but for some sexual hedonism may turn into an addiction, surmounting extensively i.e. a vital biological need shaping into a fierce urge.
The term “Sex Addiction” sounds simple but it is hard to imagine oneself as an uncontrollable object having sex, with no bonding just lust. Sexual dependency is poorly understood and inadequately served; moreover accounted as by-products of cultural influences. Like any other addiction, here too the persisting pattern is followed despite of increasing negative consequences in all spheres of life.
As marked by Mason Cooley, U.S. aphorist, “Addicts turn their pleasures into vengeful Gods”.
The portrait of a sex addict is variable, any of the following behavioural patterns when obsessive, compulsive, and unmanageable will account for sex addiction:-
- Pornography
- Internet sex
- Masturbation
- Prostitution
- Exhibitionism
- Frequent night stands
- Compulsive sex with partner
- Frequent sexual references in conversation
According to a ten year research conducted by Dr Patrick Carnes, a leading psychologist in sex addiction, about 8% of the total population of men and 3%of women were sexually addicted. But it is obvious that the real estimates would have been much higher as admitting sex addiction takes a lot of courage and pain.
Nearly everyone feel obsessed with sex once in a while but that does not entitle a sex addict. The following questionnaire can help recognise the condition:-
- Always feel imprisoned in the thoughts of sex
- Persistent desire to resist sex
- Engaging excessively in self-stimulation
- Force/ drag partner in a sexual act
- Spending a lot of time online for porn or sex chats
- Feel restless or anxious without a sexual partner
- Engage in sexual activities at the cost of personal and professional issues
- Spending most of the time thinking about sex or practicing it
- Feel guilty or ashamed after the act
- Involve sexually with strangers or with people never desired
- Previous history of sexual abuse
- Feel life can improve qualitatively, in absence of sexual thoughts
- Family history of any obsession prevalent
- Behaviour is chronic, lasting for a year or more
If most answers turn to be yes, then it is advisable to consult a professional to brainstorm further.
Who all can be addicted?
- Sex addiction may run in families, or else there can be another obsession prevalent making siblings vulnerable
- Age plays a crucial role. Adolescent experimentation, cultural influences and technology advancements can trigger the addictive behaviour.
- People suffering from mood disorders practice sex to innervate them, but eventually enslaves to an addiction
Facts and Myths
- It is not only the sexual act that qualifies to be addictive
- The amount of sex is entirely individualistic. Sex addiction cannot be termed for individuals with high sex drive or who enjoy a lot of sex. It is normal if manageable.
- Most people sense sexual impulses in childhood; masturbation, peer sex play and curiosity are all very natural, understandable and common
What major hazards an addict can face?
- Brokenmarriages and relationships
- Suicidal tendencies
- Depression
- Lost career opportunities
- HIV infection
- Sexual transmitted diseases
- Physical damage to genitals
- Legal hazards include rape, molestation
- Unwanted pregnancies
- Alcoholism
- Drug addiction
- Sexual anorexia
How to combat?
The foremost step is to acknowledge the addiction, admitting the fact can be nerve wrecking but until it is accepted; help cannot be fetched. Take responsibility. Establish limits; unlike alcoholism sobriety in case of sex addiction is tricky to define as healthy sex life is desired; not complete abstinence.
Guided Psychotherapy inclusive of cognitive behavioural and relaxation therapy is advisable. Diagnostic assessment is essential to ensure physical integrity.
Medication is recommended strictly under professional guidance.
How to help?
Support them; you can help by spending time with the person who is struggling with sex addiction. More than words comfort, they need to know that you will be with them during this time of pain and distress.
Get them involved in some physical activity, as it will tone down their stress level. Encourage for normal healthy lifestyle.
Liked it
Rahees K | Dec 21, 2008 | Reply
very nice article..
thanks Dr. Shalini Kapoor
sharon | Dec 22, 2008 | Reply
an informative article….
must read!!
ankur | Dec 22, 2008 | Reply
very informative!!!!!
mark | Dec 22, 2008 | Reply
Good piece of work
Nina | Dec 23, 2008 | Reply
Excellent work Shalini – well done
mathew | Dec 23, 2008 | Reply
food for thought, Interesting one
Ruhy Gupta | Dec 24, 2008 | Reply
Really informative stuff Shalini.
Do keep writing in future to aware the masses.
Good Job done
meenakshi yadav | Dec 24, 2008 | Reply
nice work
realy good one
George | Dec 28, 2008 | Reply
the article has raised my curiosity in the subject, definately gonna study more on it.
thanks for this useful piece of thought
Shail | Dec 29, 2008 | Reply
It is very good & informative article indeed.
ak | Dec 30, 2008 | Reply
very informative……….must read……
nice work…….
Awaninsh | Dec 31, 2008 | Reply
Well compiled and informative. Nice work .
Dhiraj Agrawal | Dec 31, 2008 | Reply
Short and precise with enriched content..
Very nice indeed!!
Kaushal | Jan 1, 2009 | Reply
Really Nice work .
All must read & also told others too.
shailesh | Jan 2, 2009 | Reply
excellent work dr.,you picked that subject which is most suppressed in our society……..realy appciable article.
Pearl | Jan 2, 2009 | Reply
Very well presented work, simple and understandable.
facts and myths section is my favourite and a must read.
sandeep dhaka | Jan 2, 2009 | Reply
it’s good work good at all.
sandeep dhaka | Jan 2, 2009 | Reply
we must treat these patients with bach flower remedies and homoepathic constitutional remedies..i have done it so many times but not every time so i also wanna spport from u r side doc. plz discuss some matter wth me.
Dr. Shalini | Jan 3, 2009 | Reply
Hello,
Thanks for all the comments and appreciation.
Sandeep, treating with a constitutional remedy is a wise option along with a 12 step programme specially designed to recover from sex addiction.
The 12 step programme includes counselling sessions, psychotherapy, relaxation techniques.
As sex addiction is not much talked about in our country but it is very much prevalent so it becomes our utmost duty to diagnose and treat with care.
Dr.Saroj Mishra | Jan 5, 2009 | Reply
Now a days some times people feel problems of sex addiction and some times it gives birth to disease like impotency & infertilisation.What is the criteria to find upto which instance sex is right and above which it is wrong.
Michelle | Jan 5, 2009 | Reply
You have raised a quiet sensitive topic, but I must say you have done full justice and this will surely help a lot of people. Keep up to good work.
Anurag | Jan 6, 2009 | Reply
Nice thoughts…!!!
Nidhi | Jan 7, 2009 | Reply
makes a very nice read. and informative at the same time.
keep up the good work!!
Param | Jan 7, 2009 | Reply
Nice thoughts….well I think the people suffering from this addiction should practice yoga and meditation and also they should divert their mind towards sports.
Joe | Jan 7, 2009 | Reply
A smart article, describing sex with no vulgarity. Of course good work! Do keep writing!
Monika | Jan 7, 2009 | Reply
Valuable contribution.
Samya | Jan 9, 2009 | Reply
Commendable work!!
Nidhi | Jan 11, 2009 | Reply
Gr8 knowledge yaar u r giving to people…….
Thax for that
Anupam | Jan 11, 2009 | Reply
Very informative & excellent work
Resham | Jan 12, 2009 | Reply
Good work, the quessionare is very well formatted and the points are put forward very clearly.
Gaurav Maheshwari | Jan 14, 2009 | Reply
Very nice written article..& that too on a topic which is quite suppressed in our Indian Society…
Rohan | Jan 15, 2009 | Reply
Fab work.
Ankit Gujarathi (M Pharm) | Jan 19, 2009 | Reply
Informative, precise artical about sex addiction, where u have outline the problem & its solution. As a primary work it is very good, but it need to improve a lot if you want to sep ahead. I wish u all the best.Keep writting.
Dr.Cator | Jan 20, 2009 | Reply
Simple, clear and quiet practical information both for the doctors and the patients.
Dr.John | Jan 21, 2009 | Reply
Great piece of knowledge.
Aakash | Jan 25, 2009 | Reply
How to combat section is very well written and precise. Enriched work!
rashie | Apr 6, 2009 | Reply
Great work!!!
manoj | Jul 6, 2009 | Reply
its useful for everyone…nice work!!!