There are things in this life that will make you hurt, that will take parts of you away, that will make you do things you never thought you’d do. Usually those things are Love, Money or some extravagant promise of a better life. For some this is true but for others this is not, a simple drink, pill or hit can make us do any of those things at any time, and usually all together.
Human nature will tell us that bending our moral fiber is ok as long as we’re not hurting anyone and if we in fact do hurt anyone it’s usually ourselves. We can forget something that happened only a day or week ago, and we can justify our actions on the spot. We have the unique ability to lie! We lie to ourselves, we lie to those we love, and we lie when we’re alone taking the fist sip of a stiff nightcap.
We are so convincing in fact that our lies aren’t lies, their truths, what we know to be true of ourselves, just as sure as the sun rises every day WE believe! Believing in something true, our minds will tell us, this is the truth, it must not be questioned,we protect and fight against any type of other conclusion. After all we know ourselves more than anyone.
Addiction is a phenomenon in the truest form. It can take a perfectly sane mind and bring it to the grips of insanity, it can take any rational judgment and turn it into a un-truth, it takes logic and turns it into the enemy, and it can steal away the ability to possess human characteristics such as compassion, love, joy and self awareness.
What happens to us when we reach the point of being a true addict is something truly scary and incomprehensible to many. Our bodies tell us, “STOP…your Dying! “Yet we take another sip, another hit, another pill. We isolate, we cut off from the world so no one can see what we’ve done to ourselves, the loneliness is unimaginable but we turn off our phone and draw the shades anyways. We lie to those we love, our moral fiber not completely absent, WE think, we attempt to protect them while still managing to get our needs fulfilled. Upon awakening we can’t think of anything other than getting what we need for that day, getting it will be the day’s to-do list. We lack any conscious ability to manage our lives, bills, food, pets, friends, family, work; those things are a bother and must not interrupt our future plans for later in the day. We can’t feel anyone else’s pain our pain is the only thing that exists, we can’t care enough about anyone else because we don’t care anything about ourselves, our next fix will fix that! Our guilt will build to such an extent that using will be its only relief. We know our way of thinking isn’t right, we see the shame in others face, we feel the loneliness and the pain, we know what true chaos is, yet we take another sip, another hit another pill.