Five Steps to Quitting

Almost everyone has a vice or an addiction worth quitting. It could be biting your nails, gossiping, smoking, binge drinking … whatever your addiction, you can quit today.

Step 1: Want to Quit

You can not and will not quit unless you want to. If you’re “just thinking about it” or reluctantly going through the motions on the request of your partner, family or friends you can forget about it.

First ask yourself, “Do I want to quit?”

Now the big question, “Am I really going to quit right now, right this very second, right on the spot?”

You have to answer yes to those questions. You can’t turn around and have “just one more” smoke or drink. Once you really want to quit that’s it. The most effective technique has always been “going cold turkey”, which means to quit without reducing your intake slowly or relying on crutches such as nicotine patches.

Chemical addictions leave your body relatively quickly. A person suffers a period of withdrawal until the chemical has left the body. “Coming down” is the physically hard part, the rest is completely emotional and mental.

Step 2: Justify Quitting

This is a really simple step. You already know why your addiction is bad for you. Everyone knows the health risks of smoking, drinking and eating too much. You know the social implications of excessive behaviour and off-putting habits like nail biting or hair pulling.

It helps to put it down in your own words. You don’t have to read the warnings on the back of your cigarettes. What’s important is what you think and how you feel.

Take a notepad and a pen and write down all the reasons you want to quit. It doesn’t just have to be about health, or the usual jargon. You might see some financial gain in quitting the expensive bottles of Tequila, or you might have more vain reasons such as “I don’t want smokers-cats-bum mouth when I’m 30”.

Keep writing. Take a break, have some lunch and if something else comes to mind, write it down. Keep your notepad with you. You might see something while you’re out, like the girl in the supermarket with bleeding nail beds or the obese man wiping sweat from his arm pits. If something makes you think twice about your addiction, write it down.

Keep your reasons for quitting in plain view. Stick them on the fridge or on the wall above your bed, anywhere you can see them from day to day while you’re still struggling with the chemical, emotional or mental difficulties of quitting.

Step 3: Manage your triggers

Do you eat when you feel bored? Does smoking calm your nerves? Do you crave alcohol when you’re stressed or bite your nails when you’re alone? Does gossiping make you feel more popular? When we do things habitually, we are filling voids.

Most people believe they are whole. They don’t see their own weaknesses or understand their issues. Everyone encounters problems every day throughout their entire lives. Vices and addictions are simply ways of coping with these problems, and each of us learns to cope in different ways.

You don’t have to be getting over a major trauma. If you have an addiction, you are hiding a deeper issue. It’s as simple as that. Don’t try and argue. No one will hear your objections. Everyone else probably sees your issues more clearly than you do.

Take a look at yourself

One fallacy that we all cling to is that the walls we build around ourselves are solid. Actually, our walls are really windows. Everyone can see straight through. Think about the people that you know; the tough ones, the mean ones, even the happy-go-lucky ones. You can see their weaknesses.

You know why your boss is cruel. His job is threatened by younger, smarter workers. He doesn’t earn enough to pay his mortgage and he has no power within the company and so he takes it out on you. Why is the lady next door always so happy? You know her husband died 10 years ago and she’s been burying her head in the sand ever since pretending everything is fine. Now turn around and look in a mirror. Your walls are made of glass, too. You have to take a look at yourself the same way you see the people around you.

Do you know where your issues lie? If you are really struggling, you could consider a heart-to-heart with a very close friend, or failing that you might need counselling. If your addiction is really serious (hard drugs, alcoholism, anything tearing your life apart) you should absolutely seek professional help in order to identify your deeper issues.

Identify your triggers

Take out a notepad and pen. Write down all the times you crave your addiction and why you want it. Start with today. When was the last time you gave in to your craving? What happened immediately before or even during that occasion? Where were you and who were you with? How did you feel before, during and after?

Continue this process, thinking back to yesterday, the day before and then stretch your mind as far as you can, thinking about all the different times you turned to your addiction.

If you are triggered by certain events or even people, you would do well to avoid being in situations where you will be tempted to return to old, bad habits.

If you do something mindlessly, like biting your nails while watching TV, you can overcome this by wearing gloves. It may seem silly, but you need to overcome the urge by removing the temptation (which in this case is those tasty, nutritious finger nails).

Create safe zones

If you own a car, a house, a garden, a shed or even a tree house, make that place a safe zone by banning any substance or activity that you are addicted to.

Even if you have smoked all your life and have always allowed smoking in your car, ban it now. It is your car and your addiction. You are now in control. Claim ownership of the things that you own.

If you share common space with other people, you will need to openly discuss your needs with them. Perhaps they’ll be open to moving their liquor cabinet out of your shared space, or smoking on the balcony instead of inside the apartment.

Step 4: Accept Responsibility

There will always be temptations. If you’re a smoker it’s almost impossible to avoid walking through a cloud of noxious smoke at some point during your week. Drinkers may avoid bars and pubs, but there will be alcohol served at the very next wedding you attend.

You have to take responsibility for your actions when you are tempted by a trigger. Recognise it, embrace it and then let it go.

Your friends and family might feel betrayed when you quit doing something you used to share with them. They will invite you to the pub, or insist on “just one smoke” assuring you it won’t do you any harm. Your friends will want to eat fast food and drag you around the very places you’re trying to avoid.

The simple fact is you have to be strong and not worry about hurting other people. Stick to your guns and don’t take it personally. Your friends and family have their own demons to deal with, but their problems are not yours.

Remember one thing. Quitting is your decision only. No one else can make you quit, and this means that you can’t make anyone else quit. Don’t try to preach to the people around you. They won’t be listening. That’s fine! It means you don’t have to listen to them, either.

Step 5: Quit and enjoy

Get up right now and remove any traces of your addiction from your house, car and office. Any packets of cigarettes, bottles of alcohol, soft drink, junk food … anything that is a physical aspect of your addiction must be removed from your life.

Throw it in the bin. You might feel a pang of regret at the waste of money. Consider only the financial savings you will make for the rest of your life now that you’ve given up your addiction.

Reward yourself

Any financial savings, health benefits or other improvements to your life that you receive after quitting are already a reward, but take some time out to give yourself a little treat for all your dedication.

Get a massage with the money you saved from cigarettes for a week, go out to a nice (healthy) restaurant with friends, splurge a little on a new wardrobe to show off that fabulous body you now have.

But be careful not to go overboard and watch out for any new vices that might creep up on you, such as overspending or simply switching your old addiction for something new. If this happens, it means you have not dealt with your triggers and issues. You need to return to Step 3 and dig really deeply to get to the bottom of it. In this case, counselling is highly recommended or you could end up stuck in a destructive cycle of addictions for the rest of your life.