How to Help an Addict

If you’re living with an addict or have a close friend or relative that is drinking or using to a point that they are hurting themselves and those around them (you), then you have probably thrown your arms up a number of times asking questions such as why? or What can I do? Here are some helpful steps that help many in the same situation.

1. Get educated. Learn about the disease of addiction. Many people first feel that the addict is doing it on purpose or doesn’t care of love them and “chooses” to act in this way. That they are choosing their drug over you. Once you become educated to the disease process of addiction, you will understand that it’s no more a choice for them, than it is for you to choose not to breathe.

2. Get help! This is too big for one person to tackle alone. Chances are that there are other family members strugling along side with you. Team up. You can support each other and work this together.

3. Get Support! Go to Alanon meetings and learn how others in your same situation are dealing with the mixed messages, the excuses, the lying, and the denial. This group also offers you a place to share your frustrations and feelings of guilt and shame associated with the dynamics of living in the cycle with an addict. Individual counseling for you and your family will also help you.

4. Set Boundaries! Setand maintain boundaries with the addict. Clear cut rules related to their using behavior will help you separate the behaviors from the person. Stick to your boundaries. If you show any crack in your wall, then you will be in for bargaining and manipulation. Stand firm. It may seem mean and cruel to enforce some of your boundaries, but if you love that person, consider it medicine that they desperately need to get better.

5. Explore treatment options. Many companies have Employee Assistance Programs (if he/she hasn’t lost their job yet). The employee assistance program will locate and pay for treatment. Most inpatient treatment agencies are less than 30 days. Many outpatient facilities are flexible to the work schedule and can provide ongoing support and treatment. There are many state and federally funded treatment options as well if you don’t have an employee assistance program available to you. Look through the phone book in your area. Treatment agencies should know of treatment and funding options abailable for your situation.

6. Continue support and counseling. Just because your addict has gone to treatment, doesn’t mean that all the problems are now solved. Lifestlye changes take work and time. By all people involved.

Although you’ve been disapointed by broken promises in the past and you hesitate to let your guard down. It is important for the addict to know that you see progress and are supporting his/her milestones. Many addicts will relapse after a period of sobriety. That’s not always a bad thing if it is a therapuetic event. Many addicts will start to believe that they are cured and want to “test the waters.” Most find out quickly they are and always will be addicted. If they learn from their relapse, it’s a good thing. Support them getting back on track.