Sooner or Later We Have to Face It

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All kinds of people become ( genetically, start out as) alcoholic’s or drug addicts. The rich and the poor, the young and the old are at risk given the genetic code or environmental stimuli. Most times addiction just doesn’t happen. Warning signs have been there but were ignored. Help was gotten too late. Even with intervention, once the addiction has saturated the fat cells of the body and brain, the addict will relapse over and over.Neuronal pathways in the brain may be damaged beyond repair; organs of the body weakened ready to stop doing their work. Family and friends may not be recognized or are long since out of the picture. What happens to the brain and body damaged addict? They may die in the street, one winter night. They may end up in the ER and finally sent to a mental institution. They may end up in jail for a petty crime only to be released to the streets and the pattern repeats.

Addiction, whether it is to drugs or alcohol affects every area of a person’s life: relationships, employment, school, parenthood, marriages. All the people involved in this web suffer too. The most damaging thing a non-addict can do is take on the blame, the hurt, the fear, and guilt of the addict/alcoholic. We may pour gallons of alcohol down the drain. We may become drug police which leaves little time for our own life. All the while, the people we are trying to help claim they are not ill: they are on top of it. They will stop tomorrow, or your birthday, or when the baby comes. Don’t believe them! Their denial is chronic and ingrained.

We (especially family members) start centering our life around the addict/alcoholic’s behavior. What they are doing or not doing. We have become obsessed even to the point when we can’t stand seeing the sick withdrawal, we will give them money to get a fix. Who wants to watch someone killing them self? Yet, they have stopped worrying about the business of life: bills,children, health, friends, and family. How many times have we tried to fix the mess they make? We cover up for them. We lie for them. We worry while around them to the point of chronic anxiety.

We are the most stupid, gullible of all people. We have become co-dependants or even co-addicts. We pretend. We may get drunk with them or take drugs. We accept their promises and take a pill. When good sense starts to tell us WE are being dragged down. We hide that and it becomes our denial. The worst nagging belief we may have is that we are at fault.If only we  had been different this would not have happened. Now, we are full of guilt.

Finally, we reach a level of despair that has no bottom. We have become weak and unloved. It is at this point many of us say good-bye to the addict/alcoholic even if it is our child, husband, mother or brother or best friend. We have to get help for ourselves. There are groups we can go to and we must. We cannot think rationally in regards to our own well being or that of the afflicted person. We have lost touch with self preservation. We may have been threatened or physically abused. We may have been humiliated in public. Gone without food or electricity while the addict was out on a bender with our money. We may have had to make weak excuses why we couldn’t pay for this or go there. We have become pathetic. There is plenty of help out there for the addict or alcoholic. What about us? There are support groups for us, WELLNESS houses, Safe places to go. Get out of the cycle of addiction before it re-cycles you! Sooner or later, you have to face IT.