The Life of an Addict

We see them on the street or in the alleyways, we hear about them on the news or on police reports. Addicts. The life of an addict is a lonely one to follow. Their lives revolve around their next “fix”. It doesn’t matter what the addiction is. It can be sex, drugs, alcohol, it doesn’t really matter what they are addicted to. They have become dependent on something that simply isn’t healthy for them.  An addiction is an addiction and they are all treated in much the same manner.

Working closely in my community with several churches and a Youth Center I am often called upon to assist getting someone into rehab. Their lives are destroyed. They can no longer cope and all they want is to have their kids back and then to have their lives get back to normal, but their lives are anything but normal.

As an addict the most important thing is number one. Their needs come first. Their needs are the most important. More important than changing the baby, than feeding the baby, than paying the rent. Whatever a normal persons priority is, the addicts isn’t.

The focus of the addict is figuring out how they are going to get that next fix. It starts out so simple. A quick swipe off of an adults still smoldering cigarette, soon they are stealing the cigarette’s from the store. Then it leads into the drug kids. Since it is illegal to smoke they are more likely to be hiding to do so. And who would know better where to hang out and do so than the drug kids? As everyone in that group knows the “safe” places to get their fixes and where to hide while doing so. For the alcoholic it might be in a family liquor cabinet or a friends family’s liquor cabinet, for the sex addict they might be stealing dads or someone else’s magazines, or order pornography from a friend or neighbors television. No matter how they get their fix, you can bet it will be illegal or someone has gotten it in an illegal way.

Thus the criminal is born. Each time they get the fix another criminal activity has occurred. Their fix becomes more important to them and the things of reality slip away. One minute they are your best friend and the next minute you can’t find your wallet. You too become their victim. If you aren’t wary you will be sucked into the vortex as an enabler and enable them to continue on with their path of destruction.

Like a tornado will destroy all in its path, so will the addict. Leaving behind a path strewn with broken promises, deceit and lies. Treasured memories lie shattered like broken glass surround them. They can’t figure out why everyone is avoiding them. Their anger is so volatile that no one, not even their own mother wants to be near them.

By this point, if they are fortunate enough, there will be an intervention. Either a professional counselor or a group of family members or all of the above will have had it and reached a point whereby they intervene in the addicts life.

Confrontation angers the addict. They are out of control and not able to control what is going on around them. They will say and do everything in their power to deflect the blame. They will blame you, the neighbors, their spouses their friends. Anyone but themselves.

Its a very frightening and confusing time. If the confrontation goes well the addict will be admitted as an inpatient or at the very least be in active counseling.

At this point it is crucial to the addicts recovery to stop all contact with their former “friends”. Naturally this is easier said than done.  Of course, these “friends” want the addict back, they scored some pretty big hits with their deals and it is a loss to their little drug/alcohol or sex community. It is very important for the addict to have good solid clean and sober friends helping them to avoid the former crowd at this point in time.

When the addict returns from treatment it is important to stay in close contact with counselors and their new clean friends and to continue avoiding the former crowd. Sometimes this may mean a job change or a move to a completely different area of town, or both.

This is a transitional phase. Where their goal is 90/90 or rather to attend 90 Alcoholic/drug/or sexual addict meetings in 90 days. Continuing with this goal is another crucial step in the recovery process.Reaching a goal is one small step towards a lifetime of sobriety. One day at a time. It only takes one wrong move and they are off the cart so to speak and back with the old crowd. Encouragement is a necessary tool in helping with this step. Having an accountability partner between meetings is very helpful.

With proper treatment and encouragement the addict can lead a full, healthy and happy life. They will have to safeguard themselves for the rest of their lives to prevent any relapse. Their families will be watching them closely in the first few phases of recovery but as time passes the addict is often left to their own devises. Guards are let down and it is much easier to relapse. Relapse if often more difficult to over come than the beginning phase of addiction.

Holidays are an especially difficult time for former addicts. Sometimes they remember “parties” at holidays fondly, at other times they are so ashamed they don’t want to talk about it. Part of recovery is learning to talk about what disgusts them about their past and preventing that from happening again.

I recently had a recovered addict tell me that he was really excited for this upcoming Christmas. He went on to say it would be his first Christmas in 6 years. No, he didn’t really miss Christmas, he was just either high, or in jail at the time for the last 6 years. He is so excited to be sober and giving and receiving presents this year. His mothers favorite present is that her son has been clean and sober for nearly a year!

If you have a friend or family member that has been through recovery, please, take a moment on occasion and just ask them how its going. Their answer might surprise you. Continue to be supportive long after they have returned from any rehab facility. Let them know you care and are thinking of them often. Help them succeed by being a true friend.