Aging and Stress

Every time I pass a mirror, I unavoidably stop. As if, by some miracle, perhaps those new or deeper lines may have disappeared. Alas, no such luck. They just keep getting deeper and tiny new ones crop up each and every day it seems (although I admit every day may just be my vain pessimism working against me). Still, they are there, very real, and deeply disturbing.

Interestingly and contradictory enough, as they grow older many women say it is almost guaranteed that one will grow more comfortable within their own skin. This is true! I absolutely would never want to relive my self-conscious teenage years or the years of struggling through one self-identity crises after another that happened in my twenties. Yet, while I love who I am, feel more comfortable with my own body, and no longer obsess about how toned my arms are, those tiny little wrinkles and the deep frown lines continue to torment.

I know from speaking with my fellow women friends and acquaintances that I am not alone. With a whole slew of new “Fountain of Youth” products and procedures out there, what’s a girl to do? Should she buy hundreds of dollars worth of over-the-counter anti-aging or firming creams, resort to collagen, or possibly wrinkle fillers? And let’s not forget the growing popularity of cosmetic surgery! Or the horror stories that have been associated with these methods at times…

There seems to be a predominate reason for the rapid signs of aging in some people… women in particular. After being carded up until I was 32 yrs old for a glass of wine on almost every occasions, it seemed like overnight my circumstances had changed. I am no longer carded at all. That got me thinking and I came up with my own answer before I heard the new research that proves it! It was really very simple and right before my eyes.

Just after I turned thirty- two, two things happened that left the signs of my struggles etched upon my face. I married a man who was much younger than I and my daughter was diagnosed with a neuropathy called CMT. My marriage ended after two years of constant lies, arguing, and irresponsible behavior from my new husband. I spent those two years in a perpetual state of anger, disbelief, and with a constant look of unhappiness shadowing my brow. My daughter’s health has still not improved.

CMT is a neuromuscular disease that wreaks havoc on my daughter’s central nervous system. It affects her balance, her coordination, and leaves her in a constant state of pain. There is neither therapy nor cure. The best that her various specialists can do is to try keeping her pain managed and her muscle deterioration at a minimum. This disease mimics MS although it doesn’t affect the organs nor is it fatal.

We spend three days a week at physical therapy and the other four days are spent doing therapy at home. Visits to the doctor are regular and some are as far away as 400 miles. Modifications are constant and daily struggles are now the norm. I watch helplessly as this disease runs rampant and controls my daughter’s body. Hence my deep wrinkles and fine lines. What is the link?

Elissa Epel PhD, a research psychologist at University of California in San Francisco, studied the effects of stress in women as related to aging and found that there really is a relationship between the two. According to CBS, Epel’s research finds that stress speeds up the aging process by harming DNA. Epel’s subjects were female caregivers of chronically ill children. “Care-giving is a prototypical example of something that creates chronic stress. Full-time caregivers have little time for themselves and make huge personal sacrifices, often at a cost to their own health.

It is also something that happens to people randomly. Studying caregivers gave us an opportunity to examine the range of responses to an objectively similar situation, without having to factor in individual personality differences. We chose mothers of young children because we wanted to examine what stress would do to basically healthy people. With a sick child, mothers tend to take on most of the caregiving burden, and become depressed more often than fathers. While all parenting is undeniably stressful, having a child with a chronic illness is stressful at so many more levels.

You might feel forced to give up your career – or simply decide that being a caregiver is more important than your career or work. But you may also mourn the loss of your normal life, the life you expected to have. By studying people with a similar external stressor, we were able to look at the importance of perceived stress, or the mental filter. So if you’re dealing with something difficult, how you think about it may be equally or more important than the actual situation. We found that those with higher perceived stress had greater cell aging.”, says Epel.

Of course, the study also consisted of a control group. These women were without any major stess factors in their lives other than the normal stress that occurs in women who “ are juggling work and family”. Epel also stated, “Although the real action between telomere shortening and cell aging was apparent at the highest levels of stress, we found the same relationship between perceived stress and telomere shortening in the control group as in the caregiver population. That means that stress and cell aging exist across the full range of stress levels. No one is immune.”

From this study, women can conclude that those bothersome little lines or nightmarish deep crevices can all be traced back to the stress each and every one of us deal with on a day to day basis. You may be asking yourself, so where do I go from here? Below are some suggestions that you can implement into your life to reduce the stress level factor. Do not try to make changes in one leap. Implement one at a time, otherwise you will just end up adding to your stress rather than lessening it.

Also, although as women we tend to agonize over every new little line that creeps into our once smooth, firm skin, try not to agonize over each and every one of them! If all else fails, throw out the mirrors! Also try to remind yourself that even if you aren’t being asked for your i.d. anymore you aren’t dealing with the horrors of acne, obsessing about being the only girl stuck home without a date on Friday night, or if your best friend likes the new girl better than she does you either! There are a lot of advantages that come with those fine lines!

1. Take “me time” whenever possible. Women are notorious for neglecting themselves while caring for the needs of everyone around them. So take time to get a massage, read your favorite new book, or snuggle with your pet. It really is that simple.
2. Exercise. Even if you only have time for a brisk 10 minute walk early in the morning or after the children are asleep, every little bit counts.
3. Sleep. It has been proven over and over that a good night’s rest is one of the best gifts you can give your body.
4. Socialize. Make a date with your husband, invite your favorite couple over for dinner and a movie, or have lunch with a friend. Interacting with other’s and without your children is a great way to relax and forget about the loads of laundry that are piling up or who needs a dental appointment.
5. Eat healthy. Giving your body the nutrients it needs is just as important as anything else you can do for yourself. Your mom knew what she was talking about when she said to eat your veggies!
6. Ask for help. As women we tend to want to do it all. There is nothing wrong and actually something very healthy about asking for a helping hand when you need one. You are not superwoman!
7. “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. There is truth to this old adage. If you are constantly worrying about the less important things in your life you won’t ever be able to relax or be less stressed.