Asperger’s Answers Provide Ideas to Help with Forgetfulness
Does your Asperger’s child forget things frequently, such as rules, homework, and what they just walked into a room to do? Here are some ideas to help you out. Most of these can be adapted for most autistic spectrum children or even just kids in general.
Most of us parents of Aspies have felt at one time or another like we walk around constantly reminding our children of everything. Whose coat is this on the floor? And where do coats go? Is this your homework? Why is it blank? Where do your dirty clothes go? What is our rule about video games? What did I just tell you to do a minute ago?
As the parent of an Asperger’s child you need to have a few tricks in your bag. You want your child to be successful in life just as much as you want to stay sane and be able to enjoy life yourself. You have enough things to remember without constantly having to re-teach every rule in the house on demand. Here are some strategies to save you time and sanity, make your interactions with your child less frustrating and more pleasant, and to train your child in self management behaviors that will aid him later in life.
House Rule Book
OK, so it may sound silly to you but what is the first thing they hand out at shelters, group homes, jails, treatment centers, and rehabilitation hospitals? Rules. How else are new comers supposed to know what is expected of those who live there? On each page include pictures that will help your child find the rules easily. Aspie children tend to be very concrete and knowing exactly what is expected of them is paramount. They also tend to associate things with images. Pictures help them remember information.
Bind it up. Make it a folder or a book. This format would make it easy for everyone to use. You could easily tell Jimmy to go look at the cleaning your bedroom section to see what is expected of him before he has free time privileges. It may take some time but it is a worthwhile project.
Write Routines Out: Break It Down
Coming in the door.
- Take off my shoes
- Hang up my coat
- Put my things in my room.
Use pictures. Again, having this in a bound format would allow you to tell the child to look it up instead of you having to constantly remind.
Calendars
Knowing about appointments, important events or anything that will change the schedule is important for an Aspie kid. You could pick a day on the weekend to add the week’s events.
Repeating
It goes something like this…
“Billy, take this sack into the kitchen, grab the bag of trash, and bring me the broom on your way back.”
Billy shows back up without the broom.
Next time having him repeat it back may help.
You can even take it a step further by teaching him to repeat it in a list to himself. Sack, trash, broom. Sack, trash, broom. Sack, trash, broom. Learning to do multi-step tasks is a very important life skill.
Make Lists
Of course. The to-do list, the grocery list, the chore list, the honey-do list. Most of us use lists. How about having your child or their teacher make up a homework list? Or a “what to do when I”m bored’ list. Lists are great, versatile and self explanatory. Not only that, but, just the simple act of writing things down will help them remember it.
Sticky Notes
Note taking is not just for adults. I recall seeing a note on my daughter’s desk one night after a particularly rough bedtime battle. “Do NOT go to school!” it said. I laughed but it made me realize that she wanted to remind herself of something important to her. Notes can be as simple as labels for drawers or a note about the important parts of a homework assignment. You can try different ideas, color coded notes or pens. Red for homework stuff, yellow for chores, ect. The more creative and fun it is, the more likely it will be effective.
As a mother of Asperger’s children I have learned that it takes work to help your kids be successful. As a mother with Asperger’s herself, I have learned how important it is to get organizing and coping skills down when you are young. We all want to train up our kids to be successful young men and women. For Aspie kids it is doubly important to set down the foundation now. That is why I have started writing the Asperger’s Answers series. I hope to help parents of Asperger’s children find helpful recourses to aid them in loving and empowering their unique kids. Blessings!
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