Children & ADHD

I have a 4yr old son with ADHD. It’s pretty severe and it was diagnosed earlier thn normal. This is a controversial topic with some people, who say he is a 4yr old being a 4yr old, when others can simply recognize the serious symptoms.

It started at 18mo old. I know you are thinking “wow, at 18mo’s old, he was being a typical baby” WRONG! at that age, others, and myself were able to see that my son had something going on with him that just wasn’t right!

Now he is not your average child, not even today at age 4 almost 5. He is as smart as a 7 or 8 year old, and acts as if he is 7 or 8 with the ocassional 4yr old temper tantrums. When he was smaller, he had 18 ear infections in one year, which filled his ears with so much fluid that he could not hear. He heard like a person who was under water would hear, this prompted tubes to be placed into his ears. After this, his speech went from 1 or 2 words, to full fledged sentences, and not the norm. I felt as if i was speaking with an adult when i spoke to him.

But as i was saying, even at 18mo’s old he showed signs of having behavioral problems. When  normal kids his age got mad, and cried, my child would sit on the floor spread his legs and bang his head off the ground, no matter what it was made out of!  from there it got worse. His energy level is like taking a bouncy ball from a gumball machine, and bouncing it as hard as you can in the smallest closet you can find, and watch it go “boing boing boing boing!” Listening to him, is walking around with a smile on his face, and not paying a bit of attention to what you are saying. Its very hard to discipline a child , who refuses to be disciplined, and anything further would be considered child abuse! Which i will never resort too. Pretty much what it boils down to is i can tell him not to do something 25xs and   i say it, he’ll tell me okay, then go and do it anyway. He knows he’s not allowed, yet does it anyway as if he was allowed. The violence is out of control with him, Even his therapist recognized that he does what he wants to do and not what anyone tells him to do. and even she is afraid that once in kindergarten this year , i will have more than my fair share of problems. And for a therapist to say that is really scary! THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO HELP! but how can you possibly help a child that refuses to be helped? how do you manage a child, that pretends he can’t hear you , for example , he once told me “i was born deaf, i can’t hear you!” HE”S 4!!! Who says that at 4? On top of the ADHD he has ODD (opposotional defiance disorder) i’m not real familiar with it, so if anyone knows more on it, please feel free to let me know! I am always open to advice, and suggestions. I need all the help i can get. My husband, he works nights, so he sleeps during the day, and works at night, so i am by myself all day and night with the kids. It’s like being a single mom when you are not. and it is by far the hardest thing i have ever had to do!

His attention back then could only be focused on video games. Yes even at that age, he was smart enough to figure them out, and at age 3 he was given a Nintendo Gameboy Advance, which by the way he played better than I could. and now turning 5 he has a Nintendo D.S. (no i dont belive video games are the answer, but when you have a child who cannot sit still for more than 5 minutes, and all you do is yell for him to please behave, the game system comes in handy, when i need a slight break. seeing him calm for atleast an hour, is like a relaxing day at the spa!) He could not focus on anything that wasnt in constant motion. Which i later found out that people who suffer from ADHD can only concentrate on things that have constant moving/changing images, because it stimulates their brain. This is hereditary, i found primarily in males. My husband has it, very bad also. But not nearly as bad as when he was a child. So that is a nice thing to keep in mind when thinking about my own child’s disorder.

He has very violent tendencies, which we have to watch closely, being that I have a 20 month old. Dealing with an ADHD child is far from easy. Some don’t have it as bad, as others, but nonetheless , no matter the severity, it isn’t easy.

Now I’m no child psychologist, but i can recognize the signs and symptoms. I have talked to many people with children doing, and acting the same way. Discussed with them the possibilities of ADD or ADHD, later to find out that after a trip to the child behavioralist, i had been right. kudo’s for me!

Now don’t get me wrong, those symptoms can also just be a child being a child, or worse, an underlying problem that has yet to be diagnosed. Either way, if y ou suspect something may not be right, especially in school aged children, take them to talk to someone! Even if they tell you that your child is completely fine, it never hurts to take them, because if you can’t deal with the situation, or they are constantly acting out for no reasons, the therapist, or psychologist can help, really help. I always tell my friends “Even if they don’t find anything, continue going, it doesn’t hurt to have someone to talk to , to steer you in the right direction, and give you insight on things you could be doing to better your relationship with your child. It will also help to give you other ways of dealing with certain situations”

I’m not saying that a therapist or child psychologist, or a behavioralist is right for everybody. But if you find yourself asking “what do i do?” or “I can’t deal with this” it doesn’t hurt.

You may say it’s because i’m a young mother, but it’s not. I’ve been around lots of children, volunteered at a childcare facility when i was in HS and love children. Age has nothing to do with the fact i went to someone to seek help in parenting. I am in no way shape or form a bad mother. I am a terrific mother, just needed a little guidance in a way that i couldn’t find on my own. I needed that help to tell me “what do i do now?”

I hope this article was helpful for you parents out there who think you are alone in this…..