Helping Children Succeed One Step At a Time

Many adults feel that children are not stressed in today’s society because they are “catered to” in terms of education, no corporal punishment and are not forced into childhood labour camps. However, just like adults, children have feelings and frustrations both at home, in school and during play. Stress may also be related to academic performance. Childhood interpersonal relationships with parents and or peers can be another source of stress.

This article discusses the basics of helping children deal with stress in all situations. Just like adults, treat children with due respect and listen to them. Listening is important from two perspectives. It allows the listener to understand the problem in detail. The second benefit is that it allows the person talking to let go of the anger. This process is called ventilation. Many-a-times, this may be all that is needed. The stressed-out person may feel better, pick up the pieces and may be able to get on with the day’s usual issues.

This approach will only work if the child trusts the individual who is listening. If not, it is important to find someone whom the child trusts. Counselors, teachers and psychologists are trained to quickly win the child’s trust and to deal with the underlying issue or issues as the case may be.

All situations cannot be resolved with this one approach. In other situations it may be necessary for the stressed person to engage in digressionary activities like walking, listening to music, writing a journal, biking, swimming or simply meditating. During this type of activity, energy which may be channeled into harmful activities is actually channeled into a productive activity. These are acceptable modes of letting the frustration drain away “the angry and pant-up feelings”.

The adult in the situation has a responsibility in keeping the child safe. The adult must insure that the child is safe. He / she should not be allowed to take the anger out on himself or herself. The child must not be allowed to harm him or herself.

Wherever possible try and keep the environment positive. The angry and hostile feelings will ebb away even without any intervention but with the passage of time. In life there are few problems which cannot be solved.

According to crises theory no matter what the difficulty resolution will occur within a short time of about two to three days. Children / individuals who have been supported during periods of crises will be better adjusted. Those who are not supported will become maladjusted.

Supporting children during difficult times will make them better adjusted and will prepare them for the next problem. Not supporting them will instill fear of problems in their developing minds. They may become psychologically disabled for the rest of their lives.