Infant Colic: A Living Nightmare

With a baby that we thought was finally well following bowel surgery, we sat back and enjoyed our days free from an incessantly crying baby. The surgery had corrected previously unpleasant symptoms that made our baby cry day and night.

He was 8 weeks old, we felt we had been robbed as parents of peaceful times with a precious new baby. That was just the start of our problems.

Having thanked and praised the surgical staff for giving us “a new baby,” alarm bells began to ring when his incessant crying came back with a vengeance.

We were devastated that he had gone through such a large and risky operation, when as it appeared he had reverted back.

At 6 o’clock every evening baby Oliver would turn from angelic little boy, to screaming banshee. The change was bizarre, and we could find no reasonable explanation for this.

He would cry sometimes non-stop, for hours on end. For us as parents it was distressing to see him in pain, and very tiring to cope with, when we were totally unable to pacify him.

When I think back, his symptoms were classic. Screaming, usually in the evening, drawing his legs up as if in pain. With each episode ending as abruptly as it started.

We were totally beside ourselves about what to do to survive, and put a stop to these awful episodes.

Our older son would be forced to go to bed early, so that he could get some peace and quiet, and as a couple we would find ourselves automatically increasing the volume of the television as if it were part of a habit we had got used to.

All the time the disruption continued, our baby appeared to suffer hours on end of pain and suffering.

Obtaining a diagnosis

I had heard of ‘colic,’ but always assumed it to be something as trivial, and easy to treat as nappy rash.

I took it upon myself to go trawling the trusty world wide web for possible solutions. It soon became apparent that Oliver was suffering a good old fashioned case of colic.

Frustratingly, no matter how many articles I read, there amazingly seemed to be no definite treatment or cure for this awful condition.

We tried absolutely everything suggested from warm lavender baths, to administering drops such as ‘Infacol’ and ‘Dentinox’ (yes I was desperate enough to try both), we even spent a fortune on purchasing the ‘Dr Brown’s’ anti-colic feeding bottles, but it was an expense I was quite happy to sacrifice if it actually worked!

None of those suggestions seemed to make a blind bit of difference, so we then went from the sublime to the ridiculous by purchasing a ‘white noise’ C.D, which to explain is simply a recording of noises such as vacuum cleaners, tumble driers and industrial equipment, which apparently are supposed to be soothing to a baby.

Comically, the noise was so unbearable, we couldn’t subject ourselves to it, let alone the baby. And so we had pretty much exhausted all the options available to us.

I then went about joining ‘mum’s’ blogsites, putting my desperate plea out to a group of well-seasoned mum’s, hoping that someone would offer me the miracle cure.

Again this was simply met by repetition of already tried treatments, and other equally frustrated mum’s asking the same question.

Coping strategies

We decided that rather than strive fruitlessly to find a cure for colic, we would hatch a plan to survive the duration of the problem instead.

We already knew that Oliver could suffer it up to 16 weeks, so we were in for a long haul ride, and we had to just accept that.

I once heard a mother talk of how she used to spend a lot of time at the end of her garden when her child had colic. At the time I didn’t quite understand the relevance of this comment, but when I found myself walking to the end of our very long garden, while Oliver screamed the house down indoors, I could absolutely see her point.

Sometimes it is best to simply allow the baby to cry, without trying to soothe them (this rarely works anyway), and by putting them safely in their cot, and allowing them to cry themselves to sleep, as cruel as it sounds, it is practically one of the best things you can do.

Sharing the responsibility is essential also. Get a break from the baby, after all evenings are the time when life still needs to carry on, such as preparing a meal, making school lunches and carrying out general domestic chores.
Take it in turns to bathe, cuddle, and generally care for the baby. When coping with a ‘colicky baby’ there is an immense feeling of frustration, exhaustion and sadness when there is nothing that can be done to get your happy baby back, so sharing this pressure does help very much.

Ensure that attention is shared equally among siblings. I did feel that my older boy did at times resent Oliver for all the attention he demanded from us. The fact that we too were short tempered and tired didn’t really make for a happy family unit.
We became detached as a family, and in hindsight, allowed Oliver’s condition to dominate us.

After several weeks, Oliver’s symptoms began to taper off. The evening torment became shorter, and he appeared to settle far easier. However this was not until he was 15 weeks old.

Will there ever be a cure?

As far as I could find, there is no absolute cure for colic.
In this day and age, with the amazing cures for diseases such as cancer, you would assume there would be an effective cure for a common complaint such as infant colic? Seemingly this is not the case.

My G.P did suggest a treatment that she had used on her child who also suffered from colic, and that was ‘cranial osteopathy’. I did some research into this, but as I discovered, the treatment cannot offer any guarantees, and it is also quite expensive, particularly if you are relying on maternity pay only.

Until Oliver suffered, I had no idea how common infant colic is. Not only do parents seek treatments and cures, but they also need support and advice, and I felt this was severely lacking from a medical perspective.

Thank goodness for support internet sites for mums and dads, but these are only useful if you have access to the internet.

Stay sane

Most importantly it is essential that as parents you do not isolate yourselves during the difficult weeks or months. Maintaining your sanity is number one priority.
Try to go about your normal lives, allowing the baby to fit in with you, not vice versa.

It is important to try and stay calm, as babies are clever at detecting frustrated and angry vibes from parents, and this can often increase their upset too.

One special treat for us was to have a nice bottle of our favourite wine waiting for us once or twice a week, and on a particularly difficult and stressful evening settling Oliver, we would wind down by relaxing and enjoying a glass or wine or two!
Essentially you must maintain your sense of humour. Try not to create resentment towards your baby, which is only natural, and I was guilty of that at the time. If you do, which is only human nature, it soon passes, as fortunately our memories of such events does fade with time.

When you are enjoying your baby, as you aspired to do, no doubt you will just look at colic as just another of life’s hurdles.