Stop Trying to Cope with ADD

This article is and isn’t about ADD, the inappropriately named and most misunderstood condition in the human experience. Attention Deficit Disorder, or AD/HD has been maligned, misunderstood and even ridiculed in the media, within the medical community, and within the public for so long, many people are loathe to even acknowledge its existence!

Many of us have traveled well into adulthood with ADD and not even known about it until recently. Some of us have been aware of it most of our lives. Some of us may wonder if this could be why we are the way we are.

Many, if not all of us are bogged down by the mundane tasks of life and trying to learn how to get them done and to be “productive” citizens of society; to fit into a mold we were clearly not designed for; to “settle down”, “concentrate”, and “get organized”. But, what if it is not we who are abnormal? What if it is we who are meant to lead this world into the next Age of Enlightenment? If we were not burdened by the structures and schedules that society imposes on us, what could we achieve?

We do not have “Attention Deficit Disorder”! Starting today, we are celebrating and cultivating the Abundant Creativity Effect!

I spent 38 years of my life berating myself, second-guessing myself and generally beating myself up.

No matter how badly I wanted to, no matter what gadgets I bought or systems I tried, I could not get my life organized. I couldn’t understand how a seemingly bright, intelligent person could be so dim-witted when it came to running her life.

My house could never maintain any degree of tidiness. As soon as I’d get one area clean, 3 new areas would magically appear. It finally got to the point that I was feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated that I simply gave up altogether. My home turned into a virtual pig sty and stayed that way.

I made decent money, but it never seemed to be enough. I was constantly moving money around or borrowing from friends and family just to be able to pay the past due bills, never mind the current ones.

I couldn’t get to sleep at night, and most nights I was lucky to get 4 or 5 hours sleep. Even this was interrupted for several years due to two little ones who came along, neither of which slept through the night on a consistent basis until they were 5 years old.

To keep going, I smoked like a chimney and drank at least a six pack of Coke every day. Getting three squares was a constant challenge for me. I could never seem to find enough time in the morning for breakfast. The kids managed to speed eat a Pop Tart or cold cereal, leaving any dishes for later, before we were dashing out of the house…late again.

During all this chaos, I would berate myself and vow to get organized and stay organized. I bought Day Planners, calendars, index cards, file folders, boxes of all sizes. I’d spend hours getting my “system” ready and I would actually use it for a few days, and then promptly forget about it.

I was so behind on bills and housework that I couldn’t see any way out. I was completely despondent. I hated how I was and felt powerless to change it. I felt stupid and lazy. What was worse, I could see that those around me couldn’t understand why I was like this either.

I was making poor choice after poor choice. I had 2 failed marriages and 3 kids. I felt like I was failing them too. My youngest had always been an emotional handful, prone to fits of frustration and temper that were completely out of line with whatever triggered the outburst.

She seemed to have so much trouble with her homework. She had such a different temperament than my other 2 children. I couldn’t understand what it was that I was doing wrong as a parent. Tactics used with the other kids never seemed to work with her. When she was good and calm, she was the sweetest, kindest, most affectionate and most helpful of all 3 of my kids. But if something happened or someone said something to trigger an “episode”, no one was happy. It was affecting my other kids, and so I finally determined to find help for her, and for our family.

At first, I did some research on the internet about child rearing and temper tantrums. I kept running across sites about ADD. At first, I’d ignore those sites. Like so many people, I thought ADD kids had to be hyper, and that the condition would be so obvious.

But when my web searches kept bringing up ADD sites, I finally gave in and took a closer look. What I found absolutely floored me. Through assessments on various sites, I came to the realization that my beautiful baby girl had ADD. I was relieved that I had found a cause for her behavior, and that we would be able to move forward with treatment and everything would be calm again. However, in reading further, I was startled and amazed to realize that I, too had ADD.

I was hooked. Of course I went overboard on the initial research. I searched out every website and blog I could find. I bought dozens of books on the subject. Finally I was ready to get my daughter and myself the help we needed. Even after all that I had read, I was not prepared for the let down of how hard it was to actually get someone to listen, and then to help.

I was numb with disappointment and frustration by the end of the process. Multiple professionals and several medication choices later, I was done. My daughter was and is doing very well on her medication. She is excelling in school, and her behavior is great. However, we still have to go back to the doctor every month for a prescription refill, due to the fact that it is a controlled substance, and refills are not permitted. The only ADD professionals we could find are located in another city, so it’s quite an ordeal to get this accomplished. We often run out of medicine before I have a chance to get to the clinic.

On the other hand, my personal experience with medication was frustrating to the point of tears. I finally gave up on finding any magic pill to take my nuttiness away. Eventually I determined that I was a valuable person just the way I am, and that I was smart. Forget about the elaborate organization systems. I could come up with something simple and easy to use. If I kept it in constant sight, I would remember it. I’d enlist my kids’ help in the process.

Slowly, but surely, I am emerging from the darkness of the past 40 years. I am mentally healthier than I can ever remember being. I still struggle with the day to day demands of life, but I also rejoice in my unique ability to brainstorm and imagine solutions to work problems. I have so many interests that I am never bored. I am no longer depressed. Life is good.