Afer fifteen solid months of brick-wall head banging, the time might have come to take a serious look at the writing life, and where it should be leading.
There was a post today in which girishpuri wrote a poem declaring themselves to be addicted to triond. I know r=the feeling, but just the other night I had a moment of clarity about what I have really been doing this past 15 months, the poem really bringing it home. I became – partly because my rheumatoid arthritis keeps me from too much physical activity – a couch and computer potato, most of my spare time given over to writing posts for triond.
How intensive this effort was can be judged in the fact that I have posted well over 1500 pieces in that 15 month period, yet I still do not get more than a few hundred hits a day – at BEST that is – and I do not make much money at all. That is however, far less of a bother to me than the fact that my lifestyle has made me so out of shape that a walk of a mile these days really takes it out of me, and a 30 minute spell of light gardening will leave me whacked out for a couple of hours.
I feel that my health – I will be 62 this year and would like at least another twenty years – is at serious risk if I carry on in that vein, so things simply HAVE to change. It has become increasingly obvious to me, helping only to further deepen my disillusionment – that this use of my time is just not doing me any favours and has to change. If, as now seems more certain, I am not going to get many views or earn much money, then why should I be so sacrificing of my precious time? Keeping my hand in by posting a few times a week will keep residuals ticking over, for what they are worth, and I can spend writing time more creatively.
That leads me to tell you all that I have now got all the 20 stories together that will make up the co-authored book by myself and Erin Miller. I am getting them proof-read and checked by a critical eye, after which – corrections completed – I would expect to be publishing in the next week. The book will be entitled We Aim To Please and will at first be available on kindle at $3.99 – £1.99 UK - Twenty terrific, Tantalising Tales by tortured imaginations to delight and entertain you royally. I will be posting the relevant information soon.
It seems ridiculous, in some respects you might think, to suddenly put the brakes on hard after 15 months of such concerted effort, but that really is the entire point. So much concentration went into the riting for triond that everything else in life – including my health – simply got ignored for the most part. This cannot continue, any more than can the illusion that it makes much of a difference to any but my hard-core supporters, whose faith alone has kept me going thus far.
This is not goodbye, by any means, but it is a day for a full-on, no holds barred reality check, and an admission that either I am just not as god as I always believed myself to be – conceitedly – or that the platform I chose to be my springboard simply was never the ideal for what I wanted. Triond has some great uses, but is only one island in an ocean of writing opportunities, so perhaps it is time to start travelling, because I think my writing fortunes just might lie elsewhere.