Judging Special Needs Children
This is a shocking and disturbing fact that is forever on the increase.
Upon reading an article just the other day it concerned me to read that special needs children in apparent “normal” schools are treated in a way that is absolutely appalling. Not only are these children bullied, made fun of and humiliated by other children they are also treated in such a different way by the tutors.
I have a Down syndrome nephew and he is more alert and clued up on things than your “normal” child. The worst part of this is the word “normal”, I have waited and asked people over the years what this word actually means and nobody has been able to give me an answer. You ask yourself the following question. Am I normal? The conclusion you come up with is yes, but this is not the case as everyone in their way is normal and it’s always others that are different.
If you know a child or is a parent of a child with special needs, learning disabilities, Down syndrome or any other disability then you will understand. These delightful children that have so much love to give are just the same as anyone else and there is a vast majority of them that are much more aware of things than your “normal” child.
The article I read the other day was of a parent with a child with Down syndrome; this child had misbehaved in class and was made to stand in a small hallway with the doors locked. Apparently for their “protection”. Rubbish. I do not know or cannot think of a reason why this would have been done, but the conclusion I came up with is not something that can be published. After finishing reading the article it made me question the fact and who it happens to! Does this happen to all children, just the “different” children or the ones that are known as troublesome?
What ever the answer, what ever the reason it is wrong, unacceptable, damaging and frightening towards the child and inconsiderate. Bottom line. This is just pure ignorance and something that should never be done to any child. The teacher responsible has since left the school, but for what reason and where did they go? My opinion (and this is something that I am normally blasted on because of my straightness and bluntness that is always 100%truthful) is that they no longer stayed at the school due to the consequences of their action and they have probably moved to another school and will do the same to other children. This person is left to teach in other schools as no action was taken against them for their behavior and on my understanding that behavior was much worse than the child’s for refusing to sit down. Locked in a hallway for this! Absolutely sick, disgusting, disturbing and just plain ignorance.
These children are more intelligent than people gives them credit for and credit is one of the best moral boosters there is and every child needs this. But the simple fact is due to the way they are treated at school and so differently from other children is the key point to people to jumping to the conclusion that these children are incapable of the same sort of work as others and this is so far from the truth. My nephew when doing homework is such a bright, clever and intelligent boy that he shines like a million dollar diamond, his brother who is “normal” is completely different. Where-as my downs nephew wants to do is homework and loves the fact of learning his brother would rather go out to play or do other things. To me this leads to one conclusion and this is “different” children are more knowledgeable than “normal” children and this theory is due to the way I have seen these to grow up and the schools that I have worked.
I have seen the difference in these children and the outcome is not what people judge it to be. If you have to children in a room and you cant see their faces and you have one doing schoolwork and the other playing what would your instant and initial thought be? Someone’s going to grow up with a good head on their shoulders, their like doing schoolwork, they like learning! What would yours be? The most disturbing fact of all is that their judged on the way they look and that’s the bottom line, that’s the truth and nothing will change that. This is a fact. Share your views with me, your opinions, what are your thoughts on this; have you a child that is classed as “different”? The operative word for this is special, talented, gifted, intelligent, loving, caring and observant. Why are children like these judged? I have my views; you have read my opinions let me hear yours. Do you agree that children are treated different based on the way they look or is it all for the right reasons?
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Hector Lugardo | Jul 7, 2009 | Reply
First of all, I am the parent of an adult with multiple disabilities .. she was once a child who was repeatedly stereotyped. I am also a professional parents advocate working with a major Mental Health Association in Southeastern Pennsylvania.
I feel your pain and your frustration. I was you once. I still am, only this time I have learned to turn self-defeatism into living, positive and consuming energy which changes children’s as well as adults lives daily.
Normal … “what is normal?,” you ask. You are asking a very valid question albeit a difficult and puzzling one. There are not one easy answers to these kinds of questions and even academics have developed many explanations as to the meaning of it. I personally suscribe with the one that goes something like this: “expected state, form, amount, or degree.”
Normal is all about expectations, averages, comparisons and consensus. Therefore, if my expectation is that my developmentally-challenged daughter conforms to the average-person stereotypes, and I compare him/her to the average person next door, who by all standards conforms to societal expectations (developmentally), then I would be compelled by my own observations to agree with societal consensus that my daughter is abnormal (becuase she cannot interact like the rest, communicate like the rest, behave like the rest, learn like the rest, walk like the rest, work like the rest, live independently – like the rest, etc., etc., etc. Do you get my point.
You sound like a very intelligent person. You would not like to spend the rest of your days fathoming the meaning of normal. There are other questions that are as equally important that can yield more practical answers. For instance, one of these could be:
How can I learn to fight stigma more effectively (you know, without so much “bluntness and straightforwardness”). Whatever your purpose in raising these concerns are, I know from fact and experience that you’re deafeating the purpose with these kinds of attitudes. Attitudes such as these burn bridges behind you. They keep the bearer in isolation when they run wild. They make you null.
Is this what you want? Or would you rather use your talent to teach others about diversity, inclusion, the evils of stigma, recovery, emotions management skills, etc.
You are doing very well in asking questions. This is the pathway to self-understanding and positive psychology. Just don’t get too stuck in finding answers to questions which have already been answered, unless your planning on writing a new philosophical treatise for humanity.
Your comparisons of the two children is a healthy exercise, but unfair if you do lack a vantage point from which to gather the required data. I can see clearly that your observational conclusions are not objective. They are based rather on your own biases. Your conclusions would not stand a scientific scrutiny, let me tell you, probably becuase you jumped a few rungs of the “inference ladder” when rushing into the wrong conclusions.
Furthermore, your conclusions tend to trivialize very complex human behaviors and attitudes. Your conclusions are therefore defective, perhaps becuase your subjectivity blurred your focus. Is this “normal” for you? – just a rhetorical question to keep my assessement under your perspective of “normal.”
I hope this helped make you an objective observer and an even better philosopher. I am a member of Facebook, if you would like to blast me for my bluntness and straightforwardness, you can leave your comments on my Wall information.