Five Year Olds Wanting to Die: Is It Cowardly?

I just go on a little rant about my thoughts on depression and whatnot since I use to suffer from it.

I’m twenty two years old and can honestly say I’ve been through some tough times in my life.

I know you old timers are thinking, “Tough times? What could a girl in her early twenties go through in her life that was so tough?”

What people don’t understand now is that depression can affect anyone of any age. I have a twitter account that I frequently use to reach out to people who are struggling with the demons in their heads. The youngest I have seen suffering from depression is a nine year old boy.

Nine years old? There’s something wrong with a nine year old wanting to take their life. What’s even more disturbing? I have “met” people through twitter who can remember being depressed and wanting to die as far back as when they were five years old.


Why in the world would a five year old want to end their life? My God, their life has barely begun. I stretch the word barely because it’s true; a five year old wanting to die? Who would have ever heard of such a thing? I literally almost rolled off my couch when I saw this on twitter.

Talking to my parents throughout the years, they have referred to people who take their lives as “cowardly.” Well then I must have been a real coward because, I too, wanted to die at one point in my life. I prayed to God that I would not wake up in the morning; I regretfully was sad every morning I had woken up.

Why I say regretfully? Because I thank God every day that I wake up; I can’t believe at one point in my life I wanted to die. It honestly sends shivers down my spine when I think about how at one point I loved the way the blade felt being dragged across my skin, how seeing crimson comforted me. It makes me ill in a way, but it also reminds me that I’m a stronger person than I was years ago.

I admit to people that my depression started around August of 2009, but I believe that I started showing signs of it as far back as the beginning of middle school. I was afraid to admit to my parents years later what I had been feeling because of the things they have said about people feeling depressed.

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