Five Tips for Shortening Your Life

Tip Number 1

Smoking cigarettes is one of the tried and tested ways to take years off your life. The more you can smoke in one day, the sooner you will die. To give you some encouragement, the Government has placed information on every cigarette packet with a list of the serious ailments smoking can cause. What would you like to die of? Just keep puffing away on those ciggies and you will be spoiled for choice.

Tip Number 2

Drinking too much alcohol is another super way to reduce the amount of time you spend on earth. Drink enough of the hard stuff and you can very quickly ruin your liver, one of your vital organs. Alternatively, you can simply drink too much in one evening and do what others have done in that situation. Die as a result of some drink-fuelled action that you wouldn’t consider if you were sober.

Tip Number 3

One method of shortening the lifespan that is very popular with younger people is driving like a lunatic. This is one of the most common means young people have used to end their lives prematurely. Driving too fast and overtaking on bends seems to do it everytime. Throw in a bit of alcohol and you increase your success rate in shortening your life.

Tip Number4

Eating foods high in fat content and a regular diet of junk is not the quickest method of reducing your life span but it will work in the long run. As long as you make sure to completely avoid foods that are good for your health and eat the kind of stuff that raises cholesterol and piles on the pounds. It may take longer than some of the other methods, but be patient, it will work.

Tip Number 5

A great way to shorten your life is make sure to avoid your Doctor. When chest pains strike, ignore them and whatever you do, DO NOT call the Doctor. Ignoring serious symptoms is one sure-fire way to allow serious illness to develop resulting in a shortening of your life.

Yes there are numerous ways to bring the day of your death forward. Look around you and you will find there are countless people applying these tips in their daily lives. Good health to you!