Choosing Your Doctor: A Matter of Life and Death

Before entrusting your life to a doctor think twice. Doctors are like ordinary humans except that they study to become doctors and obtain a license to practice their profession. Yes they are no different from us and they could make your life miserable.

About 10 years ago, I found out that I was losing my eyesight. I discovered this when I unintentionally covered my right eye with my right hand while I was sleeping. It was one early morning I remember in my hotel room in Hong Kong when somebody knocked at my door for my breakfast in bed. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised that I could not see when I know for sure that there was no obstruction to my left eye. When I removed my right hand from my right eye, I found out that I could see. And so I covered it again with my right hand to satisfy my curiosity and repeated it 3 times more to confirm my fear of having lost my left eye. My fear turned into nightmare. I lost my left eyesight. I am half blind. And I could not accept the fact that I lost my left eye without experiencing pain or any sign that something was wrong with my eye. If there was a sign or pain, I could have consulted a doctor.

Feeling sad and devastated with losing my left eye, I had to go back to Manila to see our family doctor, an Ophthalmologist. I had to undergo a series of tests. Later my doctor broke the sad news. I had an advanced stage of glaucoma. And the more devastating news is that glaucoma is not curable, according to him. And still more devastating is the sad fact that I was also losing my right eyesight.

After undergoing a series of more tests, my doctor put me on medication. He was for a while successful in convincing me not to despair as I still have my right eyesight. After several weeks, I was feeling slight pain in my left eye and so I reported this to my doctor. He said that I must undergo an eye operation and he told me that there is a laser technology available in our hospital that will do it. I consented and eventually submitted to that procedure. I had my left eye laser-operated twice in one year. Several months later I was feeling severe pain and this time my doctor said that I had to undergo a major operation. I realized then that the laser operation was a failure. This time the procedure will involve making an opening in my eye so that fluid will flow freely to prevent pressure build-up that usually brings more pain.

After several months the pain on my left eye was getting unbearable. I became irritable and hot tempered. I was feeling very bad. I could not concentrate with my work. And so, I decided to give my consent to undergo a major operation. The timing was very critical because of financial constraints. The cost was prohibitive. I am not rich and I had to find a way to look for substantial amount of money to cover the expenses including hospitalization cost.

Eventually, I was admitted to a hospital and finally got operated on. It was a successful operation according to my Doctor. To me it was a necessary medical procedure that I had to undergo to relieve me of unbearable pain that I had to bear everyday of my life. That operation was meant to cure the pain and not to restore my left eye sight. I already accepted that I lost it and there is no way that I could recover it in my lifetime. I read and researched about glaucoma and I know that there is no medicine or medical procedure that can cure it at this time.

Several days later, after the operation and before being discharged from the hospital, I noticed that my left eye remained closed even after the plasters and bandages were removed. I complained to him and he said that it will open eventually after a few days.

Several weeks after my operation, my left eye remained closed and the pain became even more severe. Months and years later I would go back to complain and even confront my doctor on sad state of my life because of the botched operation he did. I told him that my left eye was open and appeared normal before the actual operation and asked him why it would not return to its original state after the operation. I told him that I could still recall his assurance that my left eye will return to its normal size and appearance after the operation. He would later deny that he made a mistake and even suggested that I undergo another operation to restore the appearance of my left eye. I told him that I may later accept and learn to live with the ugly state of my left eye but the pain that I am experiencing every day is just too much for me to bear. He would again later deny that he made a mistake.

After years of going back and forth to his clinic, I finally give up on him. I thought of filing a complaint against him for medical malpractice but I have not made up my mind at this time. Primarily because he is a family friend, his father having been our family doctor for many years. Also a legal prescription period may apply here. I may need to consult a good lawyer.

The sad experience I had with this doctor is a lesson for everyone to think about and learn from. To me, it is a never ending pain and hardship that continue to take its toll on my health and social life. As a consequence of this botched operation, I have been subjected to public ridicule because of my deformed face due to the continued blinking of my eye and face as if I have been a heart stroke victim. A woman would sometimes get very angry with me because she would think that I am blinking on her on purpose when I am not.

I would try to wear a sunglass even at night to hide my blinking eyes. It is very embarrassing indeed. I have also stopped working because of my eye condition. And since I am on continued medication, I need to earn money to buy medicine for my eyes which is very expensive. These are some of the compelling reasons why I am learning how to write as I am doing now and I a enjoying it. Hopefully, I would earn a little money for my medicine. I have written 10 articles on Triond and I wish to request my fellow writers to send me their comments about my articles and I will be pleased to received professional advice from our seasoned Triond writers on my writing potential, if there is any.

As I write this article, my left eye remained closed and the pain that I have to bear every day is just too much for me to accept and live with. At the same time, my right eye is now slowly being attacked. My visual field has shown some dark spots indicating its continued deterioration.

There is not much I can do at this time. My mind has already been conditioned to accept reality and that is losing my right eye completely. Unless a miracle happens and a new drug is discovered to cure this deadly eye disease, I will continue to prepare and condition my mind that sooner or later, I will fail to see this wonderful world.