Getting the Most Out of Healthcare: How to Talk to Your Doctor

Most of my life I rarely went to a doctor.  When I did, I listened respectfully to whatever the doctor told me and followed his instructions.  Then six years ago I became really ill with a life-threatening illness.  Even though there’s no real treatment, doctors, including mine, have some drugs that may slow down the progression of th e disease.  But, of course, there are side effects.  And there are options.

Maybe it was the severity of the situation, or maybe I’m just too old to be bossed around any more.  Or possibly the fact that my doctor, while pre-eminent in his field is 19 years younger than I am.  But I decided I didn’t have to just blindly follow where he led.  My doctor, by the way, is terrific.  Not only is he a leading expert in his field but he is actually a loving, caring man.  However, when all is said and done, I am the one going through this experience.  I take the drugs he prescribes and when the side effects come, he doesn’t experience any of them.

So here’s what I’ve learned over the last six years:

1. Ask lots of questions.
   

   A good doctor will explain everything in exhaustive detail.  He or she will want you to know what’s happening to you.  My doctor will actually draw diagrams to show me what is happening inside my body and  how my illness affects me.  It isn’t that he isn’t busy; my doctor teaches, does research and sees patients and finds the time to do it all very well. It helps to write down questions between visits and take them with you to the doctor.  Then, in the doctor’s office, ask all your questions and any others that come up.  If your doctor doesn’t have the time or patience to answer your questions, you need a new doctor. 

2. Ask about your options.

   If your doctor suggests a medication or a procedure (like surgery), ask what the options are, including all the risks and benefits.  It’s your body.  When I had a lung biopsy, a resident in the teach hospital where I was a patient told me that I should be feeling better than I was at the time.  I asked him how many lung biopsies he’d had.  Dead silence; case closed.

3. Ask about side effects.

     Let’s face it; if you ever read the possible side effects for every drug, you’d never take anything.  Even those they advertise on TV are accompanied by a monotoned actor telling you all the possible side effects, e.g., “stroke, seizure, heart failure, death.”  Gee, I can’t wait to take that drug!  Ask what side effects are serious enough to warrant a call to your doctor or a trip to the ER and which ones are just mild and may go away after a few doses.

4. Get second opinions.
   

    No really good doctor is going to object if you ask for a second opinion.  My own doctor, as good as he is, consults with other doctors at the teaching hospital where I see him.  I get the benefit of the best medical advice available.  No one is infallible.  Recently my doctor talked about giving me a drug that he hadn’t considered before because he was concerned about the risks.  He went and talked to another doctor and together they reviewed my medical records.  The conclusion:  my doctor’s first instincts were correct; the risk was too great so I’m not going to take that drug.  I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am that my doctor is not too self-important to believe that he is the only one with the right answers.

5. Give and expect respect from your doctor.
   

    I don’t always agree with what my doctor wants to do but I listen to his advice and make my decisions based on the best information I have available to me.  In return, my doctor respects the fact that this is my body, my life and my choice.  He supports me in my choices even if they are not the ones he would make if he were the patient. 

6. Don’t be afraid to change doctors

   The very first pulmonologist I went to was not what I needed; but he sent me to another doctor for a second opinion.  The doctor who offered his second opinion has been my pulmonologist ever since and he’s great.  There were doctors in several other fields whose assistance I needed and not all were good matches for me.  Now I have the best; doctors who communicate and care and know that I have a say in my own healthcare.

Taking charge of our healthcare is our right and also our responsibility.  If we don’t look out for our own well-being, no one else will do it for us.