Crazy or sane, which one describes your grandparents? If you say both, then you have a challenge on your hand. Read this article it just might change the way you deal with them in the future.
You haven’t been visiting your grandparents or other relatives’ at home as much as you use to since getting married, having children, and taking on a new job or something else. You notice that no matter what you do, your elderly relative try to dictate your time and get you to perform tasks they can do themselves. You may feel guilty about not helping them, and you may have questioned their motives. Here are some things that elderly people who are both physically and mentally strong will do to control your time and/or money with the excuse, “Well you know I am getting older…” However, some who are gradually losing their minds may do the following things as well, so be sure you make a doctor’s appointment to test whether they have a mental condition.
This may have been the third time this month that you received a call about your elderly relative feeling ill and possibly needing to go to the hospital; however, when you arrive suddenly everything is okay and all he or she really needed was to see you and if you have children, them too.
Act like they can’t find something.
You have told dear grandma repeatedly where her medicines are, her glasses and anything else she needs but she never seems to remember where she puts them. However, when other people have visited her they say she has no problem finding things.
Accuse someone of stealing something.
You know that there are certain family members that do lack some integrity; however, it seems that your “forgetful” grandparent is hiding things from his or herself then blaming others. She may have borrowed from herself and forgot to pay herself back but rather accuse someone else hoping that you will give her some money.
Tell people you don’t care about them.
Your busybody relative is telling everyone what you don’t do for her or him and he or she hasn’t seen you in weeks. Other family members are looking at you like you are the bad guy or girl, the truth is that your relative is setting you up with a truckload of guilt so that you will feel obligated to come around him or her more and she is using the family to put pressure on you.
Create fantastic lies.
Whether she was robbed, he was in a scuffle at the local bar, or someone took money out of his wallet, the story has to be good enough to get you and anyone else in the family to act. When everyone is emotional and feels sorry for your elderly relative, he or she can get his or her needs met.
Sometimes a problem in the home or a customer service issue with a bill has to be more than what it seems because maybe your elderly relative just doesn’t feel like doing some things his or herself. So along you come to help them out. Their excuse, “I’m too old…”
Knowingly take more or less of medication or none at all.
This is a great way to get people to feel sorry for anyone irregardless of the age. If he or she becomes sick you will most likely come over and so will the ambulance. If they don’t take any or none at all the same results may occur and now you are standing there feeling bad and your relative is thinking, “You should feel that way because you never come to see me.”
Don’t answer their phone when you call.
He or she knows that you are concerned about them, but they rather not talk because they may be holding a grudge about something or they may think you have been acting too controlling towards them.
If the elderly relative has raised you, he or she may still think they can exercise control over you. They may use words to get you to fear them and you may react because you always did do what you were told in the past.
The best way to shaken up anyone is to cry and your elderly relative knows this so they will perform to get you to stop whatever you are doing and get to their house right away.
There are elderly people who do have legitimate issues, but there are many more that are doing quite well taking care of themselves. However, sometimes even the elderly is tempted to use their age and their health as an excuse to get you to do what they want. There is a big misconception that sweet, little grandma and dear ole grandma wouldn’t lie or do anything to hurt his or her son, daughter or grandchildren, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. There are elderly people who are master liars and will not stop at anything to control your time or money. Take the time to determine fact from fiction and when you see that they are trying to manipulate or control you, expose them and let others in the family know what they are up to even if they won’t believe you at first. Eventually they too will be burned by your sneaky, lying relative!