The final diary day any questions will still be answered on triond in the comments or in private via my email address at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Sorry to all that this is late in being written i have not been feeling well today so there has been a slight delay in writing this last part of my diary.
So here is the seventh and final day or my week long diary, and what a week it has been full of highs and lows and some real lows too.
The seventh and final day was accompanied with a nice nights sleep, but i still awoke slightly nervous which soon calmed down.
I did not feel well during the day a few headaches here and there but not much to write home about.
The evening however was not so good.
My grandfather chose to pick an argument with me and as soon as it started my heart seemed to be trying to leap from my chest, which in turn made it hurt, but he seemed not to care. Of course the comments i will not repeat as they are unimportant here, but the events that took place had a profound effect on me. I was so nervous i even managed to break a cup as i dropped it on the floor. My hands and legs were violently shaking so much so that as i tried to get down the stairs from the toilet i fell head first down them. I am ok but that shook me up more and in the end i had to take three herbal tablets instead of the recommended two they say you should have. My chest pains got worse and trying to sleep that night was impossible. That is why it has taken so long to write this article, i have been trying to sleep.
I have a few last day announcements to make. Without counting this part of my anxiety collection, with the diary and the behind the image article i have had 91 views on this subject my most on any subject yet! For this i am truly grateful and i hope it alerts people to the facts of the illness and i hope the stigma goes away.
Now to some comments all made by one person, an internet friend who i have been swapping messages with:
She asks me: ”I was wondering, on the day’s that you are feeling better-Do you ever try to remember what you might have been doing on those days that would make you feel better?”
Well here is my answer, it may not fully answer the question but i will do my best. I often feel as if they may be some key to this illness, something that triggers a reaction in me, that if i can find it, i can beat it. That however is not how it works. There are situations in which i am anxious in, and situations that i feel comfortable in. On the days i am not anxious i will more than likely not have been in a situation that would panic me. However it is not as simple as just saying that you should avoid those situations that make you anxious, as i can not avoid teenagers or the local grocery store, many situations are unavoidable but if i can avoid them i will.
So i hope that answers one of your questions.
Another she asks is: The nights that you sleep better-What was it that you were doing during the day that you think might of helped you to sleep better?
Again i believe certain circumstances that are unavoidable help this illness at night become apparent. However it is different to anxiety during the day, because during the day, the anxiety is to present danger or a present situation. The night time sleeping problem is to a danger that is not present but in the past, six years in the past. I am not sure there is anything in the day that would effect that dream, i have been experiencing the wall dream for many years now, and it is uncontrollable.
I hope that answers some more questions and remember if you have anymore questions i will be happy to answer them on here or at my email address email@example.com.
Thank you for reading this diary, it is easy to tell the truth on paper, it is just that i wish i could tell those around me face to face the truth too. Thank you for your comments and i hope it has been an informative week.