Before You Say Goodbye, Please Journey Through a Grief of Suicide

Sadly, in this modern day, suicide has seen to become a trend or even a common culture. Each year, approximately 30,000 people die by suicide in America, which is also the ninth leading cause of deaths in the United States. It was reported that 85% of the suicidal people in the U.S were male and the reasons were due to the loss of beloved one, unemployment, an empty soul after retirement, decrease in strength (might have contributed to depression and 75% of the depressed Americans refuse for assistance and treatment), and prolonged loneliness as well. People with schizophrenia, particularly young adult males and teens with generalized anxiety disorders are observed to be at greater risk for suicide attempts.

Sadly, today, the highest cause of death amongst the teenagers, other than by accident, is suicide. Every one hour, there is a case of suicide being reported among the teenagers. According to the Vital Statistics of the United States, suicidal cases among the teenagers seem to soar during the holidays, particularly in April, June and July. The depressed feeling is said to be intensified around the holidays. Very often, when teenagers break up relationship with a girlfriend or a boyfriend intensifying by parents’ divorce, death of a family member, the death of a sibling, a fight with a parent or boyfriend or girlfriend can cause them dreadfully upset and depressing. Playing choking game, homicidal violence, an unintended pregnancy, being harmed by abuse or rape, drug abuse, self-loathing or being victimized are other reasons that might lead to suicide attempts. Under such extreme confusion and desperation, they think they can’t accept humiliation, social isolation, rejection, failure or other psychological disturbances that get them to see no other way out. They’ll find coping with such problems overwhelming, in which under such dreadful situation they might go for suicide attempts.

The negative thought might be a potential to lead them to depression. In the midst of facing failures or shortcomings, they might see no way out of a painful situation but death as the only ultimate escape. That means teenagers today, no longer respect absolute value of lives and no longer do they understand the real reward of life. These young people are not properly taught of the meaning and purpose of life, and thus when they see there’s hopelessness, they want it out with a short-cut circuit: suicide.

Well, suicide is not just a problem of an American. It has been estimated that approximately 10 to 20 million people worldwide attempt suicides each year. Among the Canadian young adults and youth, suicide has been identified as the second leading cause of death. In general, the public always underestimate the occurrence of suicide.

Financial Catastrophes are Another Main Factor of Suicide

The current global economy has failed to generate an optimistic outcome. It is said to be originated with the collapse of the sub-prime mortgage market in the US. The economy slowdown can be felt globally but it’s more obvious in the US economy. The economy in general, has not been shown to portray a positive outlook since the late of 2007. Due to this slowdown, we’ve seen a significant period of stagnation of investment and the failure of financial markets to stimulate the demand.

The financial bubble has burst and it’s affected the working people in the US since they were pressured to take out an adjustable rate mortgage loan which is said to have no equity. So, in this hard time, they’ve no choice but to withdraw more cash out of their home loans which of course, will increase their debts in spending their survivals. Due to this reason, the working class has been thrown into a terrible shape. The collapse of the mortgage market in the US has undeniably caused the economy slow down in China and the global world economy.

One of the significant effects of the economy crisis is the rise of the suicide. Of course, suicide is also caused by divorce (ranked as number one factor of suicide rate in major U.S. cities), bullet-fire, bombing, self-immolation, starvation, post-traumatic stress disorder, fear of a prolonged illness or chronic pain, loss of a spouse, psychiatric disorder and other psychological factors. This short-cut remedy is taken when one feels that he/she is unable to cope with the pain that exceeds their ability to deal with.

Due to the current stock-market meltdowns and financial catastrophes, hundreds and even millions of people worldwide are already suffered with mentality problems such as depression, neurological disorders, and bi-polar disorders, which could undoubtedly exacerbate the deep feelings of loss, overwhelming sense of sadness, anger or despair among community who struggle to deal with the increased pressure of unemployment and poverty. 

Clearly, there’s obvious evidence that suicide is closely associated with financial crisis. The consequence of poverty and unemployment lead to despair, sense of loss and the debts, violence, social exclusion, insecurity, in which such conditions are always linked to the onset of mental disorders. The impact is particularly marked in the middle- and low-income families. As for them, the gains and losses are disproportionate. Therefore, you shouldn’t be surprising or simply underestimate the impact of the current financial disaster since you’ll see more stresses, suicides, mental and neurological disorders reported every day by the media. These disorders may be chronic and disabling if appropriate treatment is not given promptly.

We’d read on suicidal cases of the most financially strong people like Steven Good (a Chicago real-estate mogul who shot himself death in his Jaguar’s seat when he knew that his property-auction business facing failure), Bernie Madoff (who swallowed sleeping pills and slit his wrist after knowing he lost about $1.4 billion), Adolf Merckle (a German billionaire industrialist, after knowing a huge loss in investment which was said to suffer his business empire, had taken the attempt to lay himself down in front of a train), and many more, to be named a few cases here.

Again, the deaths rooted from the economy slow down are sometimes questionable, and they did raise some questions- Will the suicidal cases become the trend of economy recession? Will the suicide epidemic become a culture to solve the living problem in this icy condition?  Will Wall Street turn into a scene of suicide? And will the suicide cases rank the Americans on the top list of the world?

Well, these questions deserve the debate. In the midst of thinking how suicide has impacted human’s life; particularly during the hard time of global economy crisis the psychologists have told us that the gloomy economy situations do increase the number of suicides. In regards to this issue, a director of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Paul Clayton said, “The suicide rate has already gone up, and my suspicion is that it will not go down,” and he further remarked that “There are data to substantiate a relationship between unemployment and suicide.”

Voices From the Author to Those Who’ve Suicidal Attempts/ Thoughts

If you’re going to/think of committing suicide, please take some time to read this article. You might feel annoyance and pain, and tell me, “Chan, what do you understand about my bad feeling?” Well, I don’t know you, and I even don’t know who you’re. But, frankly speaking, I could feel/ understand the pain or annoyance you’re facing.

Though I’m not a mental health professional, psychologist or a therapist that can diagnose the degree of your mental disorder, I can entertain you and care for you. You won’t be alone here as I’ll always be here listening to you. I know that your choice of reading this article does you good, particularly at the moment that you want to end up your life. I’d love to sit by your side, listen to your voice heart to heart, but I think it’s impossible as we stay far away. So, I leave you this article to help stopping your desire to commit suicide. I hope you can stay patiently to read this article and later you decide yourself whether or not you really would like to end up your life. Very often, the deepest despair, endless pain, extreme emotional fluctuation and darkness side of your mind have lured you to take this irrational and ridiculous action. Even if you have a desire to die, your body still wants to survive. So, please think at least 10 times, before considering the choice of suicide.

What’re the Symptoms of Suicidal Behavior?

This section tells you how to recognize people who are thinking about killing themselves. You should furnish yourself with this important knowledge so that you can help spot the symptoms someone else from your friend, family or anyone else who may be thinking to end up their live very soon. Generally, people who have a tendency to commit suicide have exhibited signs of their attempts as listed below.

If you’ve the condition as listed below, you must take the appropriate step to stop from being disrupted by this initial intention. Here are some of the common symptoms you must watch out for:

• Take more alcohol, pills, tablets and drugs to self-medicate overwhelming depression
• Sleeping too little or too much
• Make an arrangement for funeral or a death will
• Severe outbursts of temper
• Get away from friends, relatives and anyone else
• Promiscuity (being very sexually active)
• Isolate from participating in community service, and other social activities
• Disruptive behavior (or sudden change in behavior)
• Give away all the possessions or belongings (or give away things that were once prized)
• Absence from work or school
• Excessive use of chemical or harmful substances
• Lack of interest in hobby cultivating, meeting friends, and even loss of interest in personal appearance
• Experience extremely elevated mood, which seem to be hard to recover for a long time
• Inability to carry out daily tasks
• Unable to laugh or to feel pleasure
• Behave in unusual ways in terms of communication and a very deep feeling for a succession of disasters/ people
• Breaking up commitments or relationships that were once valued
• Sudden swift in mood after depression
• Like to deal with the “Death” and “Suicide” in art, music, poetry or any form of writings
• Hurting themselves with risky act or may even seek for thrilling or hurting their body

The most common alarming symptoms of suicide also include the words they use either directly or indirectly while communicating or joking as suggested by the psychologists as follow:

• I don’t want to survive anymore (direct speech).
• I think it’s time to end it all (direct speech).
• It’s time for me to end up life (direct speech).
• I don’t think I can take/deal/cope this anymore (direct speech).
• I think everything ends here (direct speech).
• My life is meaningless, no purpose, no direction, and no entertainment, so why must I go on? (direct speech)
• Nobody loves me, approved of me or accepted me, so why I must go on this life? (direct speech).
• Everyone hates me, nobody likes me, and so I’m going to end it all (direct speech).
• I am so angry and upset that I’d rather die than go on to work it out (direct speech).
• Life isn’t worth me living anymore/ Life is meaningless (direct speech).
• Life is hateful and I hate it deadly or I’m tired of it (direct speech).
• Sometimes, I just want to die (direct speech).
• They’ll be sorry when I’m gone (indirect speech).
• I’d like to sleep forever (indirect speech).
• I’m thinking to sleep forever (indirect speech).
• I think my pain will be over soon (indirect speech).
• Life is more painful/ complicated for the other because of me (indirect speech).
• I’m useless/ hopeless/ worthless (indirect speech).
• My whole life is painful and hurting and I’m tired of hurting so much (indirect speech).
• Everyone has abandoned me, including the God (indirect speech).

Why Suicide Must Not be Encouraged?

The loss due to suicide leaves behind a void and loneliness in the hearts of friends, parents, caretakers, teachers and anyone who know the victims at some time in their life. The ongoing ache in the hearts of their families, spouse and loved one can be prolonged for a limitless period. The deaths affect everyone’s feeling. The prolonged pain could be felt by someone close. The deep pain hardly goes off, but the grief can come in waves until someone feels like there’s no way forward and no way back, which indicates that how very real despair can be felt by those affected. So, if you’re thinking of committing suicide, think of this bad effect, and stop your attempt from doing this irrational action.

 In the perspective of religions, suicide is considered as a moral sin. Traditionally, Christians oppose the act of suicide and assisted suicide. Catholicism has regarded suicide as a grave and a great moral sin. They believe that one’s life is the property of God, and that the killing of one’s own life is wrongly asserted dominion over what is God’s. In Corinthians (3:17), it was written that “If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are”, explaining that any damaging acts such as committing adultery, suicide, illegal drug usage, and etc. are seemed to be contravening God’s will. In a Bible version of King James, a phrase of “Thou shalt not kill” appeared both in Exodus (20:13) and Deuteronomy (5:17) which clearly encourage people not to kill themselves by their own hands. That means, broadly speaking, Christianity beholds that all human life is sacred and wonderful since they’re a miraculous creation of the God, and thus every attempt must be taken to preserve and save it whenever possible.

• In Buddhism, taking one’s own life or suicide is considered as spiritually and morally wrong as it leaves one with a frustrated and confused mind, which they might not be enable them to born again in a better condition. Suicide is seen as a coward way to end one’s problem of life, and this irrational act is always indulged by a mind filled with hatred, greed and delusion. The Buddha has emphasized that suicide leads to further suffering.
• According to Hinduism, suicide is viewed as a negative form of action that cannot be condoned, as it’s considered equally sinful as murdering another. It is believed that the suicidal people will be reincarnated as a low form of life (such as a cockroach) and they’ll have to spend millennia working their way back up to become a human being.
• From the Islam point of view, suicide is viewed as a negative form of action. Islam sees suicide as detrimental and sinful to one’s life. In the Sunnah which recorded the life and way of the Prophet Muhammad, any person who commits suicide and shows no regret for one’s wrongdoing will spend an eternity in hell, re-enacting the act by which they took their own lives.
• Judaism has always viewed suicide and assisted suicide as the most serious form of sins. Suicide is also strictly prohibited by Jewish law. You can read more details on the suicide prohibition from a publication entitled “Conservative Judaism” (Vol.L, No.4) issued in 1998.

Suicide in the form of bombing which is usually used by terrorists is an extreme killing method of many innocent lives. As in the case of 911 events, many innocent Americans and foreigners had been killed. From the standpoint of humanitarian, this violence act which is rooted in a wicked and hatred heart must not be allowed to be forgiven. For a world’s peace, every country should make the utmost attempt by means of stricken law or prosecution or in any forms of lawful ways to prohibit any people or ban on any attempts in initiating/ planning on suicide bombing.

If you’re a pregnant mother in the case of suicide, you kill another new life which is waiting to land to this world. Indeed, the suicidal attempt denies the existence of a newborn. It’s unfair to a newborn that is blessed to be born to this world.

Life is short but precious. It should be fully utilized for the benefits of others but not by destroying it.

How Can You Help to Cope With Your Hopelessness, Suicidal Attempt or Suicidal Thought

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You’re obliged to figure out why you must solve your living problem with no other ways but suicide. You should now realize the drawback of suicide that could be felt by the affected people surround you who really care for your existence. No one abandon you, but instead they love you. So, you’ve the responsibility to remove the reason of suicide in the first place.

Keep yourself writing, whether it’s a simple diary, a short journal, a locking diary or just simply an ordinary sketch note. This is important to help cope with your harsh emotions such as anger, extreme sadness, deep painful feeling, rage, prolonged grief and depression, instead of doing any acts that might hurt or harm parts of your body. You can also share written journal or diary with a trusted and reliable therapist, pastor, monk or even a friend.

Walk out of your room and a house to keep yourself close to the nature. Take a walk in the park while breathing in fresh air. You can also go to the seaside to have your confusion mind purified by a gentle sea breeze, a whitish sand beach, a bluish sea and a greenery trees. Immerse your feeling in a widen sea and endless sky and start pondering the greatness of the creator. Enjoy yourself as much as possible with this miraculous masterpiece of the nature. Undeniably, the nature has the power to soothe your feeling and depressed mood.

If you can’t solve your problems by yourself, you should go find a trusted friend who is empathetic to the situation. That means they won’t allow you to dwell on negative emotions, acts and thoughts. Not only your good and reliable friend will listen to your negative feelings, but also they’ll find ways to help you out from the impulsive act of suicide. Never ever get yourself to trap in a “dark and confusion box” that may get you end up in one cold dead body.

Sit comfortably in a dark room without any interference and start pondering your problem and pain you’re experiencing. Think rationally and look into the negative thoughts that have caused you to commit suicide. Now, look beyond yourself and let go all your attempts to commit suicide. Try to control your temper towards the people and the events that have disrupted your mind and spirit. Bring the REAL of you back with the power of your God. Think and pray for your God deeply. From here, you’ll be bestowed with a miraculous power to release all your tensions and stresses. Think that, there’s hope and there’s a better way to solve your own problem. You’ll slowly discover a spiritual healing that will soon help you out from being trapped into misery and depression. 

You should aware that as being a person that you call “myself”, you’re blessed with a structure of opinion, memory, feeling, creativity, talent, and strength that make you into a complete person. Think of this completeness and start to appreciate of its formation. Being a civilized person is what you should hold most precious and at any circumstances you should preserve it in a whole complete entity by avoiding to destroying it. Think that, this world is beautiful because of your existence, and because of the unique of you. The life shouldn’t be purposely to be forced to stop due to an impulsive act as long as you’re still breathing. Things become different if you think differently.

Suicide doesn’t guarantee you 100% free from affliction. The pain is still there even you’ve drawn out from your physical body. Suicide does not solve your problem either. You can’t escape from your agony just by killing yourself. To kill the root of your pain, you should face it with courage and think of an appropriate way to get out of it. For those who die, Psalms says, “In a moment, they’re utterly consumed with terrors.”

Ask yourself some questions. For example, “What’s the purpose I’m here?” “How could I overcome my problems or despair?” “How could I turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts?” “Why should I exist here?” “How can my past life lead me to satisfaction?” “Why I must kill myself?” “What’s the pain I might have suffered after the suicide?” “Do my daily routines or activities have any lasting value?” “Why would my life worth-living?” and etc. If you can’t answer all these questions, don’t hesitate to get help from befrienders.org, newhopenow, suicide.org, and any trusted parties or organizations.

“Not one sparrow falls to the ground without God’s consent. As for you, every hair on your head has been counted. So, fear not, you’re worth more than many sparrows.” (Jesus Christ, Gospel of Matthew)

What’re the Consequences of Near-death Experience After Committing Suicide?

One day, one depressed girl attempted to commit suicide. She felt very angry, upset and depressing. Her mind was in confusion. Under the extreme pressure of hopelessness and failure, she took a lift up to the root top of the building. Then, she put away her high heel shoes and started to jump downward like a “superman”. While her body was slowly lifting down from the high building, she’s seen…

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From the window of the building, she saw two loving couples fighting for financial problem.

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From the window, she saw Mr. P was crying badly in a dark room. He was sad for getting a bad grade for his English exams.

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From the window, she saw Ms. M was in an extreme rage and amazement. She found that his only boy friend was sleeping with another girl.

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From the window, she saw Mdm. J was in a great pain. She was forcing herself to swallow antidepressant pills.

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From the window, she saw Mr. F’s room was in a mess. He has lost a job for nearly 6 months due to the global economy crisis. Newspapers were seen scattering around his room. It’s been a daily routine for him to read 7 newspapers in a day. Actually, he paid no interest on information other than job advertisement.

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From the window, she saw a respected teacher, who called himself Mr. W, was suffering from a chronic neurological problem. He was testing on his wife’s bra without her knowledge. Looking himself into the mirror, he giggled ridiculously.

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From the window, she saw that Ms. R and Mr.Q were breaking up a relationship. They’ve lost interest at each other.

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From the window, she saw one old man. He’s been living alone in a room and he’s desperately waited for the return of his children. He thought he has been abandoned badly and his children have not even visited him for nearly 10 years. He was very much hoping someone could pay him a visit.

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From the window, she saw many patients in this hospital were swallowing pills. Some of them have been overdosed and ended up with headache, dizzy and stomach upset. At this moment, she thought it was not worth for them getting hospitalized just for a psychiatric reason. For these people, this hospital was like a prison as they didn’t have their own privacy. The nurse would tell them when to eat, when to take bath, when to poop and etc. They were not even allowed to touch any sharp things and the nurse here would always watch them not doing things that would get themselves hurt.

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From the window, she saw Mr. Y was in a sink of being dumped by his girlfriend. He felt extremely pain upon his misfortune, and he didn’t get pleasure out of his life. Mr. Y could see his shrink- without her, and he thought he’d lost her.

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From the window, she saw this family was in confusion. She could see the ‘darkness’ moments of this family, who used to doubt about their future, financial status and love affair.

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From the window, she saw Mdm. Z sitting lonely in her room. She was holding a photo of her missing husband. She has been suffered psychological disorder since the day her husband was reported missing.

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Before jumping down from the high building, she thought that she was the most misfortunate girl in the world. Now, she realized that everyone here has their untold problems.

For quite a long time, she’s lived in her “trapped mind”, which used to prompt her to commit suicide. She told herself, “If things become too bad, I can always get myself killed.” She even had a thought of hanging herself, as for her; this was the final way out of her daily grief and pain. She felt extremely sad that nobody came to give her the necessary counseling and support before choosing this method to end up her life. She wanted to retrieve her impulsive action, but it was too late… As the decision has been made, it couldn’t be diverted anymore. She just wanted to urge those who feel committing suicide to stop from doing this irresponsible action. SUICIDE by its name has left a shocking new to the beloved one, friends and anyone who could hardly accept this tragedy. For them, the impact due to the tragedy can still be painful over times and time which is needed to ease the grief may be longer. Meanwhile, a feel of being bereavement may be inerasable from their memory.

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At this stage, she felt extremely regret upon her emotional act. She would like to return to her own physical body, but her suicide attempt has denied her to do so. She was crying badly but nobody heard her. She screamed as loud as she could, but no one was coming to assist her. Suddenly, she heard one loud “bang” from her back. What happened next, she didn’t know, but she knew that her soul was already out of her dead cold body. …

After reading this story, what do you feel?

How You Can Help to Prevent Suicidal People From Committing Suicide

Encourage them to go for counseling. It’s always recommended to accompany them to see the counselor. You can also take an initiative to arrange the appointment with a therapist or a psychiatrists to help diagnose and to assess their depressed condition. Make sure that you get them the mental health professional with the best training and a strong background treating suicidal people to get the best bet and care. They might decline the help, so you should contact the psychiatrist without their knowledge. They might initially get annoyed with you, but you actually save their live.

If they refuse to listen to you, then you might need to search for someone who can influence them to stop committing suicide. The support person should take every possible attempt to go and get more information on how to help them. The suicidal thoughts or attempts can usually come and go, so the risk of suicide can go off if appropriate assistance is given to them. Remember, saving life is more important than violating their confidence to survive.

You should talk to them with appropriate used of words and tones as their feelings are very fragile at this stage. Therefore, you should show your sincerity, persistent concern and selfless love to help them walk out of the attempts of committing suicide. Let them feel that your conversation leads them to trust you and they feel comfortable to talk to you. Note that your intervention and concern are very much needed to get them to vent their hurting feelings, emotional pain, stress and uncomfortable thoughts that may have caused them to consider suicide in the first place. Your initiative to help them might assist them to change their minds and also help them to overcome their suicidal feelings. Very often, a tragedy happens when there’s an inability to discuss an uncomfortable feelings which can eventually lead to suicide.

Ask a depressed person a question if they’re going to commit suicide. When you ask them questions, it actually shows that you care of them by providing your endless attention and assurance. By asking them questions, you might provide them a good outlet to talk about their problems. If you believe that the possibility of suicide is there, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask them some uncomfortable questions on suicide. For example, you suspect XXX for contemplating suicide; take an effort to ask them, “How are you going to kill yourself?”  ”Are you thinking of hurting, harming or killing yourself?” or “How do you think killing yourself can improve your feeling?” and etc. This will always get them to answer you if they think you’re a trusted friend or a caretaker. Next, calm them down, and keep them focus to their real lives, and tell them what the bad effects of their suicide are. Try divert their attentions to a true path of life, and explain to them suicide is not the only method to resolve the problem. For a starting point, a family physician can offer professional assistance to help them go through their unpleasant life. You can also get a list of local psychiatrists from the hospitals to seek for further medical help. You’ll never know that you might just have saved one innocent life.

Don’t prejudice or discriminate them. But in a loving and non-prejudice way, share your concern with them. Tell them that how you’re worried about them and encourage them to open up about what they’re experiencing. The thought of suicide does not come suddenly, but this suicidal behavior is a result of a complex psychological condition. You should be patient to deal with them by believing that thing can change. Suicide’s attempt is not yet a determinant factor to end up life but it can be diverted with an appropriate method. Believe that, it’ll change, though it might take a long time to change. Just take your effort to convince them that you care if they’re here with you in this world.

If someone says, “I’m gonna to commit suicide”, “I want to end it up.” or “I want to kill myself”, you should never ignore these statements. They might be words seeking for your help to get them out of the suicidal nightmare. Teachers, counselors, school counselors, physicians, parents or even friends can all play a significant role to offer troubled, depressed and isolated people a place to go for reassurance. They should always be there to support to help what they need, but most importantly, to get them immediate attention to stop their negative thoughts from stirring up their desires to kill themselves. You may not know that you might have saved one live or even more!

Don’t let them alone. They’re struggling hard during this hard time. They’re feeling extremely painful and depressed. Help them change their life by cultivating positive values either via religious practice or in any forms that might help. Identify what they’re struggling at, and be there ready to coach them, guide them, support them and teach them how to overcome their stressed and painful life.

Keep the guns, sharp tools, any weapons or harmful things in any forms away from them. Guns are the most common way people use to end up life. You should take every attempt to prohibit them from touching any weapons or instruments that might just hurt or harm them in a terrible manner.

There are many resources offering help for suicidal people. You can get a suicide hotline phone number in almost every phone book over the internet. If you’re staying in the United States, you can contact Suicide & Crisis Hotline at (800)999-9999 or call The Suicide National Hotline at (800) 273-8255 for an immediate assistant or call any hotlines within a page of suicide.org.

Watch out for the signs (listed under subtitle “What’re the symptoms of suicidal behavior?” within this article) to determine if they’re contemplating suicide. Bear in mind that people who tend to kill themselves can show “a false delusion” to you as if their heavy burden has been taken away and they often feel relieved but in fact they’re always disturbed by the negative thoughts that may have led them to kill themselves. They tend to mask their REAL feeling. Try every possible way to help them to get out of this nightmare either by convincing them cultivate religious practises or any alternatives stated in this section. Your persistent support, love, attention and care are very much needed to save their life. Please help stop suicide attempts or suicide thoughts, and thanks for your cooperation. 

How Can Parents Help Their Child to Cope With Suicide

You should get your child a good grief counsellor to help them deal with their depression, rage, anger, low self-esteem, and what they’re feeling. The child who tends to commit suicide will always hide their depressed feeling while confronting with their parents, as though the grief has been lifted down. But, in fact, it’s not always the case. Sometimes, it’s extremely hard for parents to sort out their child’s feeling and their child may not prefer to talk to someone close to them. If your child prefers not to talk to you, don’t make them. By the same token, get them a professional help from a reliable and caring grief counsellor who can always prompt them to talk to, and this can be very helpful to assist them to cope with all the emotions, depression and confusion.

As the parents, you may think that your child doesn’t need you. Instead, they still need your love, comfort and encouragement though they may have peers to listen to them. You should be there to support them, particularly when their mood is not there. Give them time and room to grieve, to mourn, to cry, let them speak out all the painful and unexpected experiences, and let them express themselves freely. Permit them to cry over the sad events, and let them experience a roller coaster of emotions. You should listen more than talk. Give them a warm hug and kiss whenever necessary, and let them know that it’s OK to feel in different ways.

Invite them to recall the good time they had had in their life time. Give them your thorough support and give them a safe harbor to deal with all sorts of emotions.

Unlike adults, your child will not have the ability to look for assistance on their own, and thus you should get professional assistance to help recognize their depression, suffering, and the treatment they need. If you’ve a problem to communicate with your child, then you should encourage them to talk with their peers, school teachers, caregivers, or anyone they feel comfortable to talk to. When your child shares stories with someone, they may feel in many different ways and this can be a good therapy.

If your child shows you signs and symptoms of committing suicide, avoid telling them to “snap out of it” as this will sometimes do more harm than good. Also, don’t pass judgment on them by making statements such as “You fool!” “You go to hell!” “You crazy bastard” and etc. as these will create more conflict within their mind. Remember not to make your child like a screwed up nut.

Avoid asking your child too many questions at a time. They usually hate to entertain with questions because they don’t like to feel patronized. But, you should make it clear for them that you’ll be there for them in whatever situation that may have to go through. Don’t give up if they shut you out at first. Show your fully and unconditionally love and support, they’ll be touched by your acts and thus they’ll start appreciate your support and assistance. Let them know that you’re ready to provide whatever support they need.

Watch out for the symptoms and signs of depression in your child. Some common warning signs may include agitation, lack of motivation, thoughts of suicide or death, feeling hopelessness and guilt, frequent crying, lost of interest in activities, irritability, hostility, isolate from peers and family, loss of concentration, changing pattern in eating (such as Anorexia, yo-yo dieting, bulimia, and binge eating) sleeping, prone to angry outburst, self-injury (Cutting, burning and injuring parts of their body), extensive use of harmful substances (such as drugs, pesticide, chemical substance, alcohol, and weapons to kill themselves) and etc. They may also express themselves in things such as “I’d better go off,” “I wish I could sleep/disappear forever,” “If I die, people will love/remember me more,” “There’s no way out,” “I want to end out of it,” and etc. If you’ve identified these signs in your child, please provide them immediate assistance to avoid any unexpected events. Don’t ignore these signs as they will cause your child go far beyond a melancholy mood. It’ll also be very helpful to learn the teen’s depression and what to do if you spot the warning symptoms. However, I recommend you to bring your child to a psychologist or doctor who specializes in adolescents and children for further diagnosis as neither you nor your child can rule out the diagnosis for suicide. Make sure that you provide doctor/psychologist with information on your child’s suicidal symptoms, and this may include information like how much the suicidal thoughts and attempts affecting your child’s daily life, how long have they been in such condition, patterns and behavioural changes you’ve noticed in your child.

Get yourself ready to talk to your child about the tragedy and bad sides of suicide. Always be there to support them to go through the stages of grief.

You should only choose antidepressant treatment for your child if they’re diagnosed to be high risk for suicide. In any cases, medication does not seem necessary. Don’t push into choosing antidepressant treatment since you may have other options to consider.  Furthermore, antidepressant isn’t always the best treatment option. This is because the use of Prozac is suspected to interfere with normal brain development. As documented in Scientific American Mind issued on June 2007 by a neuroscientist, Amir Raz, “The human brain is developing exponentially when we are very young, and exposure to antidepressants may affect or influence the wiring of the brain, especially when it comes to certain elements that have to do with stress, emotion and the regulation of these.” That’s why U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) have required all antidepressants be labelled risk in children. The risk is said to be particularly obvious during the first to second months of antidepressant treatment. So, make sure that you weight your option heavily before deciding any treatment for your child. If medication has been chosen as your option, you should get your child evaluated and monitored regularly. In either case, family support and family therapy should always come to your top priority choice in dealing with the grief stage your child is going through.

If your child’s problem is deep or you suspect that the teen you know is suicidal, don’t let them alone. Get immediate help by contacting National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour suicide support and prevention. Act now right away and don’t take thing for granted before it’s too late to rescue the situation.

Final Remark

The goal for writing this article is to help you create awareness on suicide while assisting you to cope with the trauma of suicide. I hope this information is helpful to you. Also, I hope that this information can get out to the huge number of people who need it badly. If this article can save even one life, it’s worth my effort and time.

As you can see, thousands and even millions of lives have been taken away by the tragic result of suicides. While exploring the suicide statistics, I find it deeply appalling. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has reported that the death due to suicide is the third leading cause for teens between the age ranges from 15 to 24 years old. The suicidal thoughts and attempts among the teens must be taken seriously as a wish to die can turn into violence and homicidal rage. The suicidal problem needs to be addressed, the sooner the better. By the same token, I became aware of writing this article to help save life.

I think the best way we can help to correct this mistake is by creating awareness towards suicide, and most importantly, each of us should do our part to stop its occurrence. That’s why I’m urging you to help me stop this epidemic in order to save precious lives. Will you step in to provide appropriate comfort, hope and support for those experiencing suicidal thoughts, suicidal attempts and suicidal grief?

I know it’s not easy to deal with a suicidal person. In your attempt to comfort them, you may experience rejection, despair, exhaustion, or any other negative emotions. But please remember that they’re actually not being difficult to deal with, but it’s just because they’re suffering, so please do your best to be understanding, compassionate and patient. Keep yourself strong and healthy while coping with problems during this hard time. The road to get them out from the suicide disturbance may be bumpy and take some time, so please be patient. Prepare yourself for any sudden and unexpected setback. As long as you’re doing your part to get them the required help, you’re doing a great job. Don’t give up! Remember, saving life is more important than other things!!!

For a suicide survivor, I wish you all the best of luck for your life. For others who have left due to the tragic of suicide, I pray for your grieve and may your soul rest in peace. Let’s mourn 5 minutes for their great loss! And for the affected family, I feel deep sorrow and pray you receive comfort in your time of need. At the same time, I urge you to be strong to deal with these trials so as not to succumb to the present situation. Remember that time will heal your wound, and please be assured that you’ll feel better in time!