Bipolar Disorder: a Shakingly Disturbing and Sorely Misunderstood Condition

Bipolar Disorder is a diagnoses dubbed as a syndrome that no one, including families of diagnosed and undiagnosed sufferers as well as society does not want to understand or manage effectively. Bipolar disorder is commonly known as Manic Depression. Family members of Bipolar sufferers often dismiss the symptoms of the person affected as being defiant and moody, especially in pre-adolescents and adolescents. Misunderstood in adolescents and adults, Bi-polar Disorder, commonly known as Manic Depression, is under treated, I gather, because the public is ignorant to the manifestations of the condition. Adults with the biochemically caused disorder (as illustrated in the MRI photograph, being my own) may not be able to hold down jobs, as many homeless are Bipolar. Some may have substance abuse problems to try and self-medicate because they don’t want to be deemed as “crazy”. When, in reality, they are too scared to seek help, or do not know who or where to turn to for help. Teens may be displaying symptoms, which to mothers and fathers may look like aggravating, aggressive, behavioral problems with simple resolutions, like grounding, and in extreme cases beatings as an attempt to reinforce rules or athority roles. Disturbances can range from seemingly simple isolation from others to problems with the law. Teens and tweens may be having behavioral problems such as fighting in school and just seeming to have a generally distasteful attitude about school and authority. Some family members may even dismiss actions or early cries for help as cries for simple attention.

If a family member is not educated about the signs of a problem, communication problems, such as habitual arguments, and non communication and secretiveness develop between the Bipolar person and the family involved, and can cause otherwise healthy relationships to become devastatingly compromised, causing unnecessary fights,run away episodes and maybe even the person suffering choosing not to communicate at all, causing a host of problems in themselves, including but not limited to, in the most extreme cases, suicide attempts.

Celebrities dubbed with Bipolar disorder are deemed cool,wild and eccentric as well as and uncontrollable partyers with no limits to their destructive behavior. They often display their symptoms using their celebrity means, meaning overdone extravagance, spending sprees on unnecessary items, and reckless behavior. This is accepted in this society as being sexy, cool, wild and adventurous or just plain promiscuous, when in reality these are manifestations of the Manic or up phase of the disorder. Drinking, drug use and promiscuous behavior are often written off as part of being a celebrity icon.

A look inside my story of my life’s tides involving Bipolar disorder, the law, my relationships and career will serve as one example to illustrate Bipolar Disorders effects on a persons life, but an effect on society as a whole.I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 1997 when I was married and seemingly having the time of my life. I was working as an exotic dancer while going to nursing school and living a comfortable seemingly normal life of an outspoken, defiant, inexcusably overly independent, extremely intelligent 18 year old.My whole life, especially in my teen years, I had been known to do what I wanted, when and how I wanted and this was thought of as just being too smart for my own good and that I was defiant. Luckily, unlike many teens affected with Bipolar, I had no trouble in school, I was the exact opposite, I excelled graduating a half a year early. I spent a short term of duty in the Army National Guard as a 91C, but I was honorably discharged for medical reasons. I would often speak quickly and with pressure as if I didn’t know what I wanted to speak of, but I did, so many thoughts flew through my head at any given time that I couldn’t decide which one to say. I dressed provocatively, but this too was dismissed as o.k. because I was a teen model and had the body to wear what I wanted, so I did.

I had defied the wishes of my parents, which was to attend a University, Harvard or Princeton,to be specific after graduating high school half a year early, but instead, I got married to the my high school sweet heart at 18 and moved to San Diego, CA. I was just figuring out for myself how money works, or the way I treated it, the more I had, the happier I was- so I danced my way to at least $800.00 per night and I was ecstatic, purchasing all of my hearts desires. I drank uncontrollably, occasionally indulging in marijuana to just”chill” which for me, was code for calm down from my hyperactivity.

I’ve had many hospitalizations since then, been placed on SSDI, divorced, lost my nursing license and have even been civilly committed as well as spending time in jail. These problems I have had are mostly due to the train wrecks caused by not taking my medication properly, or sometimes not at all. I am lucky that I have a strong support system of my mother and father and extended family, but many do not. I like many Bipolar people I know, feel alienated, made fun of and ostracized by many people. You often here people say, “Your so Bipolar!” and not even know what they are speaking of… the experience and feelings one goes through in the Bipolar experience.