Dealing with Energy Vampires

We all know someone who is just draining to be around. Whether or not we like the person is irrelevant, as something about the way he or she interacts with others causes those around him to feel less energetic after awhile. The Human Relation textbook for the college course I took described this personality as an “energy vampire.”

Energy vampires can fall into several types, one site lists them as the joke-teller, the sob sister, the drama queen, and the constant talker but that classification seems to be a little off to me. The sure sign of an energy vampire is that after dealing with one, you find yourself drained and the vampire seems to have perked up a little. Much like Dracula in Bram Stoker’s novel needed to feed off of blood, preferably human blood, energy vampires thrive by taking psychic energy as much as I hate to use that term away from others.

Despite the type of energy vampire you may be particularly dealing with, the solution for all of them is practically the same. Set boundaries with them about what you are willing to put up with. This does not mean ignore them all together, but if you are dealing with the sob sister or drama queen for example, it might be wise to limit the amount of time you spend discussing his or her problems. For the constant prattler or joke teller, it may be wise to find another place to be a few minutes after engaging in a conversation.

One of the most difficult aspects of dealing with people who are emotionally draining is not letting your own attitude sink down to their level. In many cases, this is exactly what they want and gives their behavior validation. One site recommends sending out positive energy through prayer, but it is not necessarily to be of a religious bent to do so. Merely not letting your own emotions be affected negatively by those around you can help.

Negativity can be infectious, but so, in larger doses, can be a positive mental attitude, although it takes quite a larger does for this type of energy to spread.

Sending out love or kind thoughts to a person may not be effective as some sites suggest, but it does not hurt you either. The worst you have done is waste your time, but more than likely taking time out to do this adjusts your attitude towards the person and helps you deal with him or her the next time you meet.

You cannot get rid of negative people or energy vampires, but you can minimize their impact on you by setting boundaries and keeping your reactions in check to them. Only in extreme situations should the person responsible be avoided altogether.