Depression – What It is and How to Handle It

When people think of depression, they usually picture a condition with self-destructive effects. This is the case, but not the whole story. Depression does not only effect the person who is depressed, but everyone around them. People naturally feed off the energies of others, and if someone is emitting negative energies, everyone in the vicinity is going to feel more somber. Not to mention all of the loved ones of the depressed person who worry for their friend.

Depression is an important problem to address because a depressed life can be a miserable one, because it can impact friends and complete strangers, and because it is more treatable than most other conditions.

What Is Depression?

Depression is the natural practice of experiencing sadness when something in one’s life does not work out the way one wants. In extreme cases, depression is a damaging and persistent condition which can oppress a human soul. This occurs when one’s depression simply doesn’t go away when it should.

There are a few reasons for why this happens. Depression as a condition most regularly stems from low-self esteem, or the feeling that one is not adequate. The condition most commonly persists due to the self-realization that one is depressed. This causes the person to attempt to self-diagnose their condition: “why am I depressed?” This can lead to two things: 1. The person finds the problem and becomes disappointed, “I shouldn’t be depressed about this” or 2. The person cannot find a problem, “I have nothing to be upset about.”

The trouble with these two paths is that they make the condition worse. In other words, thinking about one’s depression is the best way to allow it to persist. The reason for this is that happiness, like depression, is not something one chooses. There is no list of steps to gain happiness, just like there is no textbook method for curing depression.

What’s Wrong With Depression?

Nothing. Depression is a perfectly natural reaction to traumatic or saddening events. Everyone gets depressed sometimes. Unfortunately, many people feel it is an emotion that they should be ashamed of experiencing. Understand that depression is a means to an end. It is a coping mechanism. Therefore, depression is completely normal.

If you feel depressed, the best thing to do is accept it for what it is: “I am depressed, but that’s okay.” Don’t attach any value to the condition; it doesn’t mean anything that you are depressed. It does not mean you are dumb, weak, or insignificant. Though it may seem odd, the first step to getting over your depression is recognizing that there is nothing wrong with being depressed.

What If You Are Not Depressed?

If you have a friend who is struggling with depression, it can be very difficult to determine how to help. The proper treatment can be different depending on the severity of the depression. And though, once again, there is no cut and dry method for handling the condition, here is a good list of steps to doing so while remaining sensitive to your friend’s needs.

1. Affirmation

Sometimes people fall into depression simply because they feel unwanted or invisible. This can easily be mended by spending time with the person and encouraging others to do so. It is important; however, not to tell the person that you think he/she is depressed, or let him/her know that you are attempting to make them feel better. You simply enjoy spending time with a good friend.

2. Communication

If you find that, even when with friends, the person is still showing signs of depression, it may be that they are in a deeper stage of the condition. At that point, it might be best to talk to the person to see if there is anything in particular that is wrong. This can be a hard conversation to have, but it can also be very helpful. If you find that your friend is not receptive, or you feel uncomfortable confronting him/her, you may want to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.

No matter what you do, always be sensitive to the fact that your friend may be resentful of their condition, if they even have it at all. Never talk about depression unless your friend seems open to the topic. And, possibly most importantly, never assume you know what is wrong, or what is bothering the person. Chances are you don’t, even if the person is your closest friend. Your friend might even tell you what is bothering him/her, but it is still better to avoid the subject. Your goal is to help the person feel better, and that is usually done by having him/her forget about the problem.

3. Patience

Once again, depression is best mended by forgetting that one is depressed. If you have tried the above methods, it might be best to let the person be. Recovery takes time. Be present with the person if you can, and check up on him/her regularly, but don’t talk about depression if you can help it. If he/she brings it up, either change the subject or insist that there is nothing wrong with being depressed.

Doing Everything You Can

If someone you know is depressed, there is not a whole lot you can do. Depression is a mental condition; therefore, it is ultimately up to the person with the condition to cure him/herself. Always remember that depression is tricky and can have many different stages. Never attempt to “cure” another person’s depression; especially if you are not certain that the person is depressed or at what stage of the condition he/she is in. Depression, as I mentioned, is natural and should only be treated if it is unusually persistent.

Lastly, God forbid anything happen to a friend or loved one, never blame yourself. You cannot hold yourself responsible for another person’s actions. Everyone can only do their best, and that is all that should be expected of them.