It was not until I managed to drag myself from the chasm of obsession that I realized that the qualities that I was attracted to in the narcissist are the ones I deeply lack within myself. I assumed that he could complete me when I should have been striving to complete myself. I believe Lisa E Scott saved my life when I read her site. I quickly began the process of autosuggestion to get over the narcissist. Self Esteem and Boundaries were my artillery to fight against the men I met with narcissistic tendencies. I was committed to ensure that no other man would humiliate me like that.
Why are many women running to a voodoo doctor and trying to get back the man who turned their hearts into shrapnel? Why are women asking me what can they do to get back their narcissist lover? I will admit that there was a time when i wanted nothing than to have this man back in my life. Sometime i mused that my life might be better, it was not so much that i thought he might love me more or treat me better but simply because of instant gratification. I was never in love with the narcissist, i simply liked the idea of him, what he represented and how that would affect my social status if we were together. If he was any uglier or poorer; i would not have tolerated his umbrage.
It was not until i managed to drag myself from the chasm of obsession that i realised that the qualities that i was attracted to in the narcissist are the ones i deeply lack within myself. I assumed that he could complete me when i should have been striving to complete myself. I believe Lisa E Scott saved my life when i read her site. i quickly began the process of autosuggestion to get over the narcissist. Self Esteem and Boundaries were my artillery to fight against the men i met with narcissistic tendencies. I was committed to ensure that no other man would humiliate me like that.
I also began to work towards improving my appearance and financial status. I quickly discovered that all that the narcissist possessed, that with a little self drive, self suggestion and resourcefulness, that i could attain everything that he could never give me. As a matter of fact, he never offered me anything, i just assumed he wanted to give it to me. I was dead wrong!
Not everyone will have it that easy. Some will struggle for the rest of their lives to get over the narcissistic abuse and infatuations. Some might say they have low self esteem hence they do not think that they are worthy of love or deserving of someone else than the narcissist. Many women who are in love with narcissist think for the most part that he is the best man that they will ever encounter. Sometimes a woman with a narcissistic ex might meet someone else but this person does not drive the fire or rush that they experience with the narcissist.
Many women have psycho-emotional issues like codependency hence they are eternally tied to and attracted to neurotic men. They cannot help how they feel as their desire to be with the narcissist is driven by far reaching issues than what affects a normal person. They will need therapy and constant intervention to live a narcissist fee life.
What a woman in love with a narcissist need is a good support system including counselling and support groups to encourage healthy thoughts and fulfilled relationships. Most professionals are not equipped to effectively deal with personality disorders such as narcissism nor can someone who has never been with a narcissist understand the arcane yet profound entanglement that the victim often has with her oppressor.
There is a prov en method of auto suggestion that might aid one with getting over the narcissist or getting the narcissist to regard one again. It works twofold since it augments the woman’s personality, self esteem and image. Some narcissist simply do not respect women who lack self reverence, he might just come back if you grow a backbone.