How I Overcame my Postpartum Anxiety

Like many women who had their first child, my world changed drastically once the reality of motherhood set in. I was found to have preterm labor after five months into my pregnancy and was put on complete bed rest. I had to quit my job as well. When I went in for my check ups, the doctor warned me about having “the blues’ as a result. But, for me, the difficulty began about one month after my daughter was born. I began having anxiety and irrational fears about many things that had never bothered me before. This was unlike the post-partum depression that is always discussed with new mothers–instead of wanting to harm myself or my child, I became terrified that nearly everything would hurt my child from a cold to germs on the surfaces of things. I washed my hands constantly, as well as the house and had a very difficult time going out in public. I also lost a lot of sleep. Once it was time to find a new job, I took a position as a demonstration chef for a local department store. In order to train for the job, I took a food safety class and developed a whole new set of phobias. I slowly lost 80 pounds because of fear of contamination of food and how it was prepared. After eleven months of this, I became fed up and decided it was time to get my life back. I sought counseling and began to do what is know as cognitive behavioral therapy. There were five things that really helped me:

1. I used knowledge to fight my irrational fears. If we learn about what we are afraid of and why it will not harm us, it gives us power. It took a while, but it began to work.
2. The next thing I did was to make myself do the things I was afraid to do and it was very uncomfortable at first, but each time I did them, it got easier. I believe in this so strongly because the experience can give you so much confidence!
3. Thirdly, I learnd to slow down and listen to my heart. If you take the time to contemplate your life in a quiet place, you will find the peace you need. Even if you only have ten minutes, do it! It will make all the difference.
4. The next thing I did was exercise. I don’t have a lot of money, so I took walks around my neighborhood. It can be anything–swmming, biking, running. But, just make time. Within a week, I felt happier and less tense.
5. The final trick that helped me when an actual anxiety attack came on was to practice square breathing. You take a breath by inhaling for ten seconds, holding the breath for ten seconds, exhaling for ten seconds and repeating this. What it does is slows down the heart rate and causes the body to relax. There are instructions on Joy Brown’s website.

So, please to all of you new moms out there–you are not alone and other women experience anxiety too–please be encouraged! It is my hope that by sharing my story that someone else out there will realize that there is light at the other end:)