How to Cope with Abuse
The abuse is widely prevalent at some stage of our lives. If we plan out our strategies accordingly, we may gain an upper hand tackling abuse.
There is none in this world who has not faced or heard instances of abuse. Scientifically, we may call abuse as detrimental behaviour of one person towards the other. The one who commits the abuse is abuser and the individual on whom the abuse is inflicted is the victim.
The abuse may belong to different genres. It may be of a physical, mental, psychological, emotional or verbal nature. For example, a kid may be abused sexually by a family member. Alternatively, a wife may be emotionally abused by in-laws or verbally abused by a dominating boss at office.
Since the effects of abuse are frightening, it is highly important for the victim to keep up his/her self esteem. It is a natural tendency to feel depressed, suicidal, low on loving life, desperate, anxious, paranoid, irritable and no hope for life if the abuse assumes a violent form.
In many cases, it has been seen that the victim is financially dependent on the abuser and cannot leave him where children are involved. In such cases, it is better to gauge the mood of the abuser and prefer not to retaliate verbally so that the fight does not turn violent. Involve the near ones (of the abuser) who can suggest counselling while in good days. Get all social support so that morale is never down. Many a divorce has been saved where the victim knew the ways to handle and control and live with abusive situations without fear. However, in cases of third degree abuse, it is good to move out by consulting a lawyer accordingly.
Liked it
Pinaki Ghosh | May 13, 2009 | Reply
Well presented.
swatilohani | May 13, 2009 | Reply
Thanx for your post.
As ou know that every violent abuse has a nip in bud stage. If your loved one turns out to be the one putting yu down, the above strategies may come handy.
Anna Ski | May 13, 2009 | Reply
Good article and well done.
I find the abuser is the one that likes to be in control too, maybe a ‘control freak’?
skylite | May 13, 2009 | Reply
Very well said … Things need to change to protect the individual from the abuser and not have to rely on one to get by !!
Darla Smith | May 13, 2009 | Reply
Very informative article. Thanks for sharing.
manya | May 13, 2009 | Reply
A great topic to write on Swati. I believe that an abuse is an abuse and none should take it lying down! Stand up, gather courage and speak!
-manya
California Dreamer | May 13, 2009 | Reply
This article is so right on track, and it does take a person a long time to get over the abuse they went through, it is not an easy task to overcome. Great Article!
swatilohani | May 15, 2009 | Reply
Dear friends,
thnxfor responding.
It is true, as you all pointed out that the control freak psyche of abuser may have its roots in childhood abuse. Proper counselling at right stage may be very effective way to modify this psyche.
CHAN LEE PENG | May 15, 2009 | Reply
This is an important topic to cover, thanks for bringing up this issue.
swatilohani | May 15, 2009 | Reply
Thanks for thinking this issue as important. Abuse is so prevalent worldwide and the worst part is that the victims, in most opf the cases, has to suffer at the hands of the abuser, who, in turn, may be a loved one or one of family whom he or she trusts.
ladybaby | May 16, 2009 | Reply
Great article. You are right, when it comes to the point of FEAR, you need to separate yourself from that person, and as soon as you can. Once it gets to the point of fear, it can become dangerous.
Dr Shalini Kapoor Kad | May 16, 2009 | Reply
very well formated, U have raised an issue which is very much prevalent but usually gets ignored either by the victim or family attributed to joint reponsibilities and social stigma.
Joe Dorish | May 16, 2009 | Reply
Good article, too many people especially children are abused in this world.
OhSugar | May 16, 2009 | Reply
Excellent article on coping with abuse. I really enjoyed reading your work. Thanks for your support on my article.
Peter Cimino | May 16, 2009 | Reply
Good article on a very dangerous subject.
Sheila | May 16, 2009 | Reply
Informative article ~ good info
Jenny Heart | May 16, 2009 | Reply
Well written with much sincerety.
Ruby Hawk | May 16, 2009 | Reply
Almost everyone has been or knows someone who has been abused. Many find it impossible to get out of the situation.
Cashmere Lashkari | May 17, 2009 | Reply
It is all the more difficult to deal with when the abuser is a trusted family member.
BC Doan | May 19, 2009 | Reply
You’re right! Abuses come in all forms: physical, mental, verbal, and emotional…None of these abuse behaviors are acceptable..
maranatha | May 22, 2009 | Reply
It seems to me, that using your head and controlling the situation will also help keep you from feeling so degraded or losing self-worth. Living in a situation where you are always on guard is never good. But running from it without a plan leaves you dependent on everyone else’s mercy, which is almost as destructive.
I read your other abuse article too. You have great insight, and must be a strong woman. Your close friends must be better for having you near.
starrlove9 | May 22, 2009 | Reply
good advice
RS Wing | Jun 1, 2009 | Reply
or lace up your boots and purchase a full canister of mace, swiftly kick him in the nuts and mace him into breathlessness, then when he’s down, give him one last boot in the ribcage…I hate to fight fire with fire but at times it’s a necessary evil…sorry for the violent depiction…..just makes me mad when men beat up on women, especially the ones they supposedly love….nice, sad but true piece….(if you have anymore problems with this coward let us know)
Betty Carew | Jun 2, 2009 | Reply
Excellent write Swati on a very important subject. I have lived a good life and have not had this problem I married a man that would get me the moon if he could but I am also aware how lucky I am and others suffer greatly at the hands of abuse.
fishfry aka Elizabeth Figueroa | Jun 6, 2009 | Reply
Well present, Ibelieve it all starts from childhood, and if your able to give a child great image of him or herself, with the ability to be very open with his or her parent. Your ahead of the games. I hope that both my children understand that they should never abuse anyone, mentally, physically or emotionally, because it hurts, and has long time consequences.
Great article.
clay hurtubise | Jun 16, 2009 | Reply
Important subject, good job.
Thanks,
Clay
Uma Shankari | Mar 9, 2010 | Reply
Important topic, and you have done a good job asking the victims to stand up for themselves. They have gather the mental strength and refuse to be victimized.