How You Should Not Feel Guilty

Guilt is something we all feel as normal human beings. If not, we would all be socio- or psychopaths.

Yes, some people will never feel guilty, even not when they destroy others, but they are not  the ones this article is about.

I like to point out that some people tend to feel guilty for things they should not feel guilty about and have stress they should not have.

Things that are believed to be wrong, are they?

Well, I have been in situations that shame and guilt were talked into me and that I had a feeling all that went wrong was my fault. Recognize this? Read on, since I guess some things are so for most of us.

One of the things that is hardest to cope with, is that when you are in a relationship and you start to get feelings for somebody else. They might not be mutual and the tragedy is that it might be an indication that there is something wrong in your relationship.

A part of you feels horrible, but when you think of it: should you have fallen in love with somebody else if your partner treated you correctly?

When you get more hits than hugs during a relationship, or your partner ignores you, or has other priorities he handles first,  it might not be a surprise, but a natural reaction.

You can have twisted feelings and don’t tell the other person you are in love with what you feel. This other person might also be in a relationship and you might not want to screw it up.

Result is that you might keep your feelings down and start to take your relationship so serious, it even becomes less healthy to enfure. Telling your partner you have feelings for another might be the real bang that will lead to a break up, but on the other hand, if he or she is an understanding person, maybe you can work things out.

So guilt is not a good guide. Falling in love is something that can just happen to you and you do not control it. But when you hide it because of guilt, things can get out of hand.

Feeling guilty about wanting somebody already taken? It is up to that other person as well. You must not feel guilty if he/she does break up with the person they are with if they chose for you, since it is their choice. You cannot just break up a relationship that is alright.

Look at it differently and come to terms with it. Yes, you can still care about that other person, but he or she does not want you, just accept it, but do never blame yourself for telling how you feel about a person.

So guilt is a bad adviser. If things happen unintended, check what went wrong and learn. Do not feel guilty, unless you did commit a crime and loving sombody is not.

Guilt creates a downward spiral that drills you through the ground, if you do not stop it.