Is Your Significant Other a Narcissist?
According to Greek mythology, Narcissus was a young man who fell in love with his own reflection while gazing into a pool of water. So in love was he, that he pined away and died at the pool’s edge. The gods took pity on him and turned him into a flower, the Narcissus or Daffodil which is named after him.
Narcissus Flower
Narcissism is actually a serious personality disorder which is diagnosed more often in males than females. It is believed that less than one percent of people have true Narcissistic Personality Disorder but many people do exhibit some of the traits. The traits which define narcissism tend to decrease with age.
Everyone has faults and it is impossible to have a relationship without overlooking some things we don’t particularly like. A true narcissist however, cannot have a normal relationship with another human being. This is because he or she is unable to understand the feelings of others. There is complete lack of empathy and total self-absorption.
Signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- Delusional. Thinking that he or she is destined for greatness and believing themselves to be superior to others.
- Bragging and exaggerating about achievements.
- Manipulation of others to achieve desires and goals.
- Seeming cold and unfeeling.
- Unable to handle criticism and may strongly overreact to it by displaying extreme anger or crying.
- Displays jealousy of others and believes that others are jealous of himself or herself.
- Having a sense of entitlement and believing that he or she should only associate with persons of high status.
- Lacking empathy. Cannot understand the needs and feelings of others.
- Strongly needs to be complimented and desires the admiration of others.
How is Narcissistic Personality Disorder diagnosed?
Diagnosis is based on a psychological evaluation and evaluation of signs and symptoms.
What kind of treatment is available?
There are no specific medications for this disorder. Treatment mainly consists of counseling with behavior modification and group therapy. Medication may be prescribed for other conditions that might be underlying such as depression or anxiety.
How to deal with a narcissist
Any person who is involved with a narcissist may be tempted to take a back seat and allow their partner to control and manipulate them. They may begin to feel defeated, especially if other people cannot see a problem. The narcissist can be very charming and an expert at flattering in order to convey an image of themselves to others.
An argument with a narcissist cannot be won, therefore it is important for the significant other to understand this and know how to set limits. The narcissist will never admit defeat so the partner should not continue arguing. Continuing to fight will only exacerbate the situation and prolong misery for the partner.
The narcissist usually does not admit to having a problem so it is difficult to get professional help for them. Counseling can be helpful if the person will agree to go but it won’t be an overnight cure so the partner will have to be very patient. The narcissistic person may be so manipulative and mentally abusive that the partner risks their own mental stability by staying. A person in this situation should not allow their own health to be compromised. In this case, the partner will need to weigh whether staying or leaving is the best option.
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stephaniemorris26 | Feb 6, 2012 | Reply
That seriously sounds like my husband……..
Belle Pierdon | Feb 6, 2012 | Reply
My boyfriend does not usually like to admit when he is wrong but he will admit it occasionally. :\
avissado | Feb 6, 2012 | Reply
Well research and beautifully presented article. I particularly like the way you introduced the topic. Learnt about Nar..PD in psychology but had forgotten about the origins of the term. Nice! will share this link with some friends OK?
Jswana | Feb 6, 2012 | Reply
Now the truly cold individuals I don’t know but there are some, particularly some younger relatives on my facebook who definitely exhibit number 9. They brag over, and over and over…….. you get my drift. A couple of them call themselves beautiful, holy, worthy, intelligent and blah, blah, blah. I know these are otherwise loving and nice girls but the name narcissist has come to mind. Great article. I like.
Ruby Hawk | Feb 6, 2012 | Reply
Absolutely not, my better half seldom thinks of himself, he is all about what he can do for the other person.
Nightsleeper | Feb 9, 2012 | Reply
Ruby, you and I are lucky. We have good spouses. I hope you’re feeling better.
Natalie | May 16, 2012 | Reply
I think it should be noted (esp. to a few who’ve already posted) that someone who exhibits one or two of the aforementioned symptoms of narcissism is not really a true narc but probably just has strong narcissistic tendencies. We all, to some degree, are narcissists but a true, detrimental narc is selfish, arrogant, has a grand sense of self/accomplishments (real or not), manipulative, secretive, cold, never-ending need to be catered to (sense of entitlement), AND is cold (prone to giving silent treatment). Trust u will know a true narc when u come into contact with one…eventually. Many try to hide or mask these symptoms initially when they are trying to bait a new source but the cracks will show pretty quick. I know b/c I came into contact with a man who over time exhibited most (if not ALL) of these traits……