Sometimes rain can mean more than a cloudy day. Sometimes we search for sunshine in our life, but there are other times that we just need to let the rain soothe our anxiety.
Long, dark, cloudy, rainy days can be very uncomfortable for those who enjoy sunshine; however, they can be a blessing for those who recognize it as a medication for an unexplainable illness.
Depending on the way one chooses to see it, rain can be uncomfortable, but also can be very soothing for he who uses it for a medication. In reality, the rain is not a curse; on the other hand it can be a blessing. Rain brings forth growth and healing in many ways. Flowers need rain to grow and it is gladly accepted by a beautiful stem that eventually grows into a loving, heartwarming, colorful rose. Some flowers can never develop into a beautiful bloom because of problems that occur during their growth cycle. We face many storms of live that are hard for us to overcome, but the flower accepts the storm because it knows that it will grow from the water that has fallen upon it.
It came to me as a surprise the day I began to feel a wave after wave of fear as my stomach felt as if it were going to drop and give out on me. I began to hear my hear pound so loudly that I thought it would burst out of my chest. I became so afraid that I was out of breath and I asked, “What is happening to me?” I was afraid of dying suddenly, having a heart attack and I would never see my family, friends again. I felt as if I were going crazy, and thought I would smother to death. My feet felt rubbery, my hands became clammy, and began to tingle. My left arm felt numb and lifeless. I wanted to run, and cry, but was so ashamed of the unexplainable fear and never wanted anyone to know what was happening to me. Not even I knew what was happening. I acted normal to the surrounding people. My hands were sweaty. I felt as if I were having a stroke that would make me disabled for life. I barely could walk for being so dizzy, which caused me to think that I was going to pass out in any second. These feelings lasted only for several long minutes, which seemed more than that. It was one of the most distressing conditions that I had ever experienced. After the feelings subsided, I began to be burdened with lots of worry, humiliation, fear of it occurring again, that I became depressive. This was a mystery and secret for me.