An overview on how to deal with years of mental abuse.
Overcoming abuse as a child can be extremely difficult especially when those who caused the pain will not own up to it and refuse to discuss it. Abuse can come in many forms and psychological abuse can be just as hurtful or more so when compared to physical abuse.
I was an unfortunate victim of psychological pain and abuse as a child whom continued well into my teen years and into my twenties and thirties. In a sense the abuse still exists today however, when you are able to leave home and remove yourself from the situation it does help you to move on with your life. Moving on is not the same as resolving the issue. An issue regarding abuse can never be resolved unless the abusers acknowledge what they have done.
My situation was that of an abusive alcoholic father and a mentally unbalanced mother. From about age four, I remember vicious fights between both parents as well as name-calling and other horrible things. In addition, my mother would take out her angry feelings on the children in the form of name-calling and threats.
My father was not marriage material or husband material for that matter. My mother knew this from day one but she allowed her own lustful, selfish desires take prescience and the result was “Hell” for all involved.
My father was either drunk or high on pot; my mother was somewhat obsessive and tried to force my father to be a father and husband. You can never force a person to do anything that they don’t want to do. In addition, you can’t mold a person into being what you want them to be, it is impossible.
My father spent his time wining and dining women and drinking his money away. My mother spent her time working and trying to raise a family by herself. Even though my mother was basically alone when it came to raising the children it did not give her the right to abuse them.
I remember as a 10-year-old child sitting in a room with my father while he rolled and smoked a joint right in front of me, what a slime ball. I used to think to myself “what did I ever do to deserve this”. The fact is I did nothing to deserve this abuse; I had the misfortune of ending up with the wrong parents.
I found my childhood years very difficult. Even as a teen and adult I had so many hang-ups, which made it harder for me to function in various aspects of my life that should have easier.
Finally, well into my late twenties, early thirties, I began to put the hellish nightmares behind me and move forward. One thing that this horrible experience taught me is “how to not raise or mistreat my own children”.
To this day, both of my parents are still living however; they refuse to discuss any of what happened in the past. They will go to their grave without ever coming to the realization of what they have done, the damage and hurt they caused others and me. The one sensible thing that my parents did is they finally got a “long overdue” divorce.