Advice from someone who has had a broken heart.
So, you just had your heart ripped out and crushed. You had dreams of a wedding and having babies and out of left field you got the “I just want to be friends,” “It is not working out” or the most brutal “I met someone else.” How will you ever recover or get over him? Right now, you probably don’t want to. You are probably thinking “I will never meet someone like him again.” Darling, that is probably a good thing. Let me just tell you that most women look back on their relationships and remember getting dumped and hurt and know they are better for it. The choice you have to make now is if you want to use this heartbreak to make you stronger or not? I hope you decide you do. I am not a doctor of any kind but I do know a lot about getting my heart broken and how I recovered and became the 20-something woman I am proud to look in the mirror at everyday. Please remember that in order to be in a solid, healthy relationship you must be solid and healthy yourself. You should be able to take care of yourself and want to be in a relationship to share your life with someone that cares about you and that you care for.
Here are some tips to help you handle this break up with grace and to help you gain strength as a woman.
1. Do not call, text, facebook or anything him. Delete his number from your phone without writing it down on a piece of paper first “just in case.”
2. If he calls, do not answer. Wait a few days before calling him back. Stay strong when you talk to him and be nice but keep the conversation short.
3. Let yourself be sad for a few days. Cry and get it out and then get on with it.
4. Do not drink alcohol the first few weeks. If you do, keep it to a minimum. You will feel better after the first couple of drinks and then begin to feel twenty times worse and end up having a pity party.
5. If you are at a function or a place and he is there LEAVE! There is nothing good that is going to come out of seeing him. I am not saying avoid him forever. You just need to try and stay out of the way for awhile and keep him out of your way. You don’t have to be rude about it and cause a scene. Act like a lady and leave graciously. If you are in a situation where a conversation is forced, just be nice and smile.
6. Trying to make him jealous with another guy with just lead to him trying to make you jealous with another girl. It doesn’t work.
7. Hang out with your friends and plan fun things to do. Get your mind off of the break up.
8. Don’t talk bad about your ex. It only makes you look bad and shows that you are not really over it.
9. Do things for yourself; get your hair done, get a massage, go shopping, take up a new hobby, exercise or just anything you enjoy.
10. The key here is to remove him from your life as easy as possible with minimal drama.
You will have bad days and you will have good days and soon the good days will outweigh the bad days. If you are really feeling down in the dumps don’t feel bad about talking to a therapist. It can help. You can always call you momma or a trusted older female who has been through it and can help. Keep you head up girl!