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Why You Cannot Take The Narcissist Back?

The key to resisting the lure of the narcissist is admitting to oneself that he does not like you. He cannot love anyone outside of himself. He is unfeeling and you cannot invest time and emotions in someone with such a fleeting sense of loyalty. A man that will dump you once he finds someone who is more resourceful or challenging than you are: you will be in a constant state of worry about the stability of your relationship with the narcissist.

            The history that you have with a narcissist is sufficient to deter you from wanting anythi8ng remotely to do with him.   The memory y of the abuse, disrespect and pain is enough to make you recoil with hatred of the narcissist. But some hopeless soul always takes him back. Someone whose self worth is as labile or low as the narcissist to consider him a valuable individual and who wants nothing more than to be near him. I remember texting g the narcissist “I thought you hated me, why are you calling my phone”  

         The key to resisting the lure of the narcissist is admitting to oneself that he does not like you.  He cannot love anyone outside of himself. He is unfeeling and you cannot invest time and emotions in someone with such a fleeting sense of loyalty. A man that will dump you once he finds someone who is more resourceful or challenging than you are: you will be in a constant state of worry about the stability of your relationship with the narcissist.

          The unpredictability of his behavior will constantly keep you on edge. Is that how you want to feel? Is that the kind of man you wish to be with? You are on ice when you are around him because you do not know what to say and how to behave.  You are afraid to be yourself because it might upset him, you try to be who he wants you to be and then he becomes annoyed.  He will never grow up; he is as unpredictable as an infant. You do not know what he is going to do and when. It is this mysterious and enigmatic nature of his that keeps some women hooked to him after he has all but destroyed their lives.

         Why would you want to be in constant misery?  You know what this man is capable of? Has he apologized for what he did? No doubt he waltzes back into your life pretending as if nothing negative and painful transpired in the past.  It is only going to get worst. Did he tell you that he loves you?  Did you know that his good behavior will retract once he gets you back into his claws?  He will never be the man you fantasize him to be. This act of his is just a precursor to the misery and heartache that he will subject you to once he does not think you are worthy anymore he meets another narcissistic supply mid stride to your heart.

 

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  1. Great advice Crystal. I have to email you my story.

  2. great share

  3. Good one – liked , thanks for sharing and see you around

  4. Wow – I have to tell you that I’ve written in my journal about 1000 times – he doesn’t even act like he likes you… he doesn’t even like you, etc. My N came back and never apologized for anything that he’d said or done – I kept waiting for ‘the talk’ and it never came. Finally, after losing & alienating a bunch of friends and family, I said to him – we need counseling if we’re moving forward (we were married for 10 years). He freaked & raged at me. He’s told me that I make him feel insecure and that if I’d just lose weight, keep the house cleaner and get a more stable job – then maybe he’d take me back full-time. He wouldn’t tell his friends or family that we were back together. I made the mistake of telling him I loved him (I was going in for surgery) and you’ve never seen such a cold, uncaring and callous response. I was being sedated for surgery and there was not a look of compassion anywhere on his face – matter of fact, he looked downright annoyed. It was the end for me – I knew right there after I recovered from surgery I had to get him out of my life once an for all. I hope it sticks this time because we’ve been doing this Narc/Codependent dance for far too long. I need whatever life I have left to free of this abuse. thanks for this posting – and letting me share parts of my story.

  5. I’m in the process of detatching from a Narc. My heart isn’t broken but my mind is. I think back to all the manipulations and in those days I really thought it was me who was going crazy, me who was unable to make sense of what he was saying or doing. If I can get a good nights sleep it’s a blessing. I have accepted that he really doesn’t like me and some days that’s easy, others it’s really hard.

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