Women with Asperger’s Syndrome

Women with Asperger’s Syndrome face a unique set of challenges.

Women with Asperger’s syndrome face a unique set of challenges. They may have a more difficult time with relationships, career, college, and other aspect of their life than their neurotypical counterparts. It may also be more difficult for aspie women to get the help and support they need than males with Asperger’s because a lot of women aspies might not have been diagnosed as children, and the disorder is stereotyped as affecting men more often and to a greater degree.

A lot of adult women with Aspergers go undiagnosed. The disorder is rarely diagnosed in adults, even though it is a lifelong condition, and it is often overlooked in female children. Without a diagnosis, it may be hard for a woman to get the help and support she needs. She may even run into the problem of having the people in her life not believe her when she talks about her disorder if she cannot get a proper diagnosis. By adulthood, most aspies, especially women, are able to mask their disorder and better blend in with “normal” society. While this can help make life easier, it also causes other people to not take their disorder seriously.

Women with Asperger’s can have a more difficult time with relationships. The are more likely to become too obsessed too soon with their partner than neurotypical women. This can cause their partner to feel smothered and end the relationship. On the other hand, they may be too “cold” in a relationship, and not know how to open up emotionally with their partner. An woman on the spectrum may also dislike being touched, which can get in the way of intimacy. This can make their partner think that they don’t care, which can also hurt the relationship. Aspie women may also be too trusting, as Aspies tend to be more honest than the general population, which can lead to the Aspie woman getting abused or taken advantage of in a relationship. 

Women on the autism spectrum may have a more difficult time in college. Though they will generally succeed with the academic coursework, they may struggle socially. It is hard for anyone to make friends in college, and this is especially true for aspies. Moving away for college can also be especially taxing on an aspie, as their routine will be disrupted and changed. As with relationships, female aspies also have to be more careful about trusting peers and friends in college, least they be taken advantage of.

It may also be more difficult for a woman with Asperger’s to find a career. In an interview, she might be seen as odd or socially awkward, which can turn prospective employers away. Because females with Asperger’s tend to spend less time worrying about fashion and appearance, they may not take into account how to dress or how to do their hair and makeup for an interview. Appearance and social skills are everything while job hunting, regardless of your qualifications. Employers tend to pick the more outgoing or “normal” person, even if the “awkward” prospective employee is much more qualified. It’s sad, but true. The fact that even in this day and age, men still have an advantage in the workplace doesn’t help matters either. 

If you are a woman with Asperger’s syndrome, you can be successful and have a fulfilling life if you are willing to keep these challenges in mind, work hard, and be flexible.

For more information on girl’s with aspergers, and why they are often misdiagnosed, please read this article: Girls with Asperger’s Syndrome

More articles of interest:

12 Common Myths About Asperger’s Syndrome

10 Crazy Theories on The Cause of Autism

Common Comorbid Conditions Associated with Autism

Wrong Planet: The Best Asperger’s and Autism Community on The Web

The Truth About Indigo Children and Starseeds

How The Indigo Child Concept Hinders Our Spiritual Advancement

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  1. It sounds like a difficult disability.

  2. Interesting. I had never thought about the relationship aspects in this way before. Thanks.

  3. I love this article, I put it in my favorites. I am a 35 year old female and I think I have AS. I always felt weird and different around others my whole life. When I’m alone I feel normal. There’s a whole list of quirks, weakness, and inabilities that I believed in the past would have resolved with time and getting older and it hasn’t. Most of these issues occur during social interaction. I’ve always felt out of the know compared to my peers-I feel I am several years behind my female peers when it comes to emotional maturity; I am also very naive and gullible. I’ve gotten better during my 30’s but being naive and not having the ability to tell when I am being lied to or taken advantage of still exists. I am a college graduate, I am intelligent and can pass a course. After some time around me, co-workers, employers, people in general almost always think im odd or dumb because I have difficulty articulating my thoughts and feelings and constructing them into proper sentences so I sound like I cant speak English correctly. I communicate better when I have time to think of what I want to say and cant write it like texting, emails, or blogs. Unfortunately, thats not how the real world works. You have got to be quick, on your toes, and be able to think on the spot wehn employers, co-worker are coming at you with bullsh*t with an underlying agenda. Every place I’ve ever worked I am certainly qualified to do the job but I never last or survive the office politics. People eventually sense somethings off and I eventually get provoked to where I’m defensive then I’m seen as having an attitude, rude, or dont fit it. Then I become outcasted until my hours are reduced to nothing or I quit from sheer frustration. Nobody is perfect an nobody at work does what they are supposed to do 100% of the time. The only difference is, that is what gets used against me when I get pushed out of a job. Its sad and its hard. Im a single mom with 2 kids to raise. All the men I been with take advantage of me or abuse me or both. I never see it coming as its happening. I can only put the pieces of the puzzle together while sitting alone and thinking for days. You cant survive ont he clock you have got to be quick to survive. I need copious amounts of downtime to think, figure out stuff, or surf the net and watch tv just to function. My poor kids are neglected because of this. I leave them alone alot to watch tv or play with toys but im happy atleast they have each other, I was an only child and was neglected and left alone. My mom is odd too, I sensed it since I was a toddler. I think she may be AS too or on a different part of the spectrum. She couldnt handle anything. She needed to lay down alot. The simplest household chore took all the energy from her (me too) and I was left alone, no interaction, no development. Its sad. There’s more but I’ll be here all day.

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