Addressing the Forbidden Subject
I told you of the elderly abuse I have seen, now here are some idea’s for correcting those things.
In one of my previous articles I brought to light and touched on
the ongoing subject of elder abuse. I received countless e-mails
asking me to write and come up with ideas on how to fix this
ever growing problem in our modern day society.
I am a retired C.N.A./C.H.H.A (certified nurses aid/certified home
health aid). I have spent 18 years working with the elderly of our
community. I loved my job and I gave my all to those I worked
with as I would accept nothing but the best if I were in their
position and the rolls were reversed. I took care of them the
same way I would want to be taken care of.
My training allowed me to work in the field of total care and my
duties included: Taking vital signs, aiding the elderly in eating,
dressing, bathing, walking, exercises (range of motion) and just
listening to them talk.
I was the main contact for most of the residents; so it was my
responsibility to report any skin tears, bruises etc. to the charge
nurse.
Home Health: When taking care of patients in their private
homes, my duties were as follows: helping with bathing, range of
motion exercises, walks and taking of vital signs.
Working with patients on Medicare visits – only allow 2 hour visit.
Where as Private Insurance allowed 6 hours. Cooking meals,
transporting to appointments, feed as needed, and the charting
of every visit including doing the paper work for the company I
was employed by.
I decided the best way to improve the everyday treatment and
care of the elderly could best be brought forth by asking the
person for which the care was given. In this way, we can assess
what form of treatment/care could be given, improving the
personal care of the elderly.
I approached Elder Marge, a close personal friend of mine and
asked her if she would be willing to let me pick her brain on this
subject. I felt at 79 years young, she would be able to give me
some great input on this subject from a patient’s perspective. I
was not disappointed. She gave me some straight up front
answers.
Her suggestions are as follows:
- Respect – I want to be respected for the individual person that
I am. Just because I’m older doesn’t mean that I’m lacking. I still
want to do the things I did when I was younger, though I’m not
able to do them as well as I want to. I’m a lot slower now. So I
just need more time to do them.
- Less isolation – The most overwhelming thing is the loneliness
when you have no one to talk to you and no family to come visit
you.
- Innovation: The need to bring new ideas forward so that those
of us that our put in homes will not shut our self off. I shut off my
emotions, my needs to be loved as if no one comes to visit you
its easier this way because then it won’t hurt no more. We need
to not let this happen.
- Motivation: Sometimes we need others to help us get up and
move so we can find ways to move forward instead of just sitting
here and waiting to die.
- Endurance Contest: We our left here by those that say they
love us. They come visit us once a year if we are lucky. For some
of us it’s become an endurance contest and we are just waiting
to die. We will endure until we no longer can.
- Spirituality – we must be allowed to follow are own path we
choose; some of us choose new faiths as it’s a way to make
friends and it allows us to speak to God on a more personal
stage. Some of our children do not like it because we have
changed our faith.
In summarizing of this article, I quote the words of a close friend
and my life mate known to many of you as the Quail. “Cause
becomes effect and we can change the world and its views, by
changing how we think. We do this one person at a time. Starting
with our self. It’s like taking a pebble in your hand and tossing it
into a still pond. The ripples move outward and as they do they
become bigger until they reach the other shore.” Aho.
I invite any comments on this article good or bad. This is how we
learn from each other and just maybe we can change things that
are lacking, one person at a time.
Liked it
Rachel | Jun 5, 2008 | Reply
Wonderfully written.
A heart wrenching issue that many countries face. As we become elders ourselves, we educated our children the best we can, make ourselves financially independent so as to relief the burden on our children.
Here, what some schools have done is to ‘adopt’ a Old Folks Home as we call them, the school will arrange for the students to visit these elderly, one class at a time, so that each class visits the Home once in a year, but this Home will get visitors every week!
The students will sometimes prepared a performance to showcase there or just to go there to chat with the elderly. Some more able elderly also have some art and craft project they are working on to sell and they always welcome extra pair of hands to help them out.
the quail | Jun 5, 2008 | Reply
Way to go Marie,awesome article, well written. Keep up the great work and remember Triond like all orther things is but a learning experience as well. Keep up the great work.
RamTsam | Jun 5, 2008 | Reply
Article is the need of the day. Most of the youngsters take life for fun and the don’t care about old and sick. Good work
Wildrose | Jun 5, 2008 | Reply
Good points my friend and fellow caregiver. It is such a shame that people neglect there elders that cared for them when they needed them, and leave it to others to fill a void that only they can realy fill. Those of us that take our job as caregiver seriously do try. These peopl are not used up just broken and need time to do the things we can do with ease, and people need to realize this. We afford that privlage to someone that is disabled and young why not to the elderly that are also diabled now do to age? Thank You for helping to bring this subject to light.
Marie | Jun 5, 2008 | Reply
Rachel,Quail,RamTsam,
Thank you all for your wonderful comments. I am glad you like this article. And here in the United States we also have activities for our elderly in the retirement homes.
These are their homes. They can not sit around and just wait to die. They need to stay as active as they possibly can and keep there minds as active. Change comes one person at a time so if people are listening then I am getting through. Yeah!!!
Wildrose | Jun 5, 2008 | Reply
Hey fellow care-giver. Thank you so much for your support. We all do what we can where we can to help others in need.
Thank you for being one of the people who have done what they can.
Marie | Jun 5, 2008 | Reply
Hey fellow care-giver. Thank you so much for your support. We all do what we can where we can to help others in need.
Thank you for being one of the people who have done what they can. Sorry about that lol Need to look at whos name I have inserted and where lol
Hein Marais | Jun 5, 2008 | Reply
People can so easily forget the elderly. Wonderful article.
Marie | Jun 5, 2008 | Reply
Hein Marais,
Thank you for your comment. I am glad you liked the article. Wish more remembered our elderly like everyone here.
Crystal Tankersley | Jun 5, 2008 | Reply
Marie, wonderful write and very needed material. We dont like to admit it but when it comes to age none of us, especially in the US like to face it. It has to do with fear. When we are young we almost feel we are immortal. Like nothing can hurt us or take us out of this world. We as a society have a fear of death but also a fear of losing our independence. By facing head on the fact that the person who was so vibrant and energetic when we were young is no longer that way and now has reversed roles and become the person who needs assistance we face our own mortality, our own future dependence and ultimately our own demise. But there are things we can do. First we can talk about the elephant in the room. The elder generally wants to talk about these changes in their lives, sadly it is us as people who “love” them who close this door. We can ask questions and put the elder in the position of teacher once again. This generally does more good that people realize as every one of us needs to feel needed and like we still have a purpose. And its a win/win because we get to lose some of our fear of aging and change. I also am a firm believer in group therapy for elders. There is nothing more peace giving than realizing you are not alone and having the opportunity to share, learn, laugh, cry and teach with another.
Marie | Jun 5, 2008 | Reply
Crystal,
Thank you for your comment. You are so right regarding our fears of old age. No one wants to look at there own life and realize we are getting old. It is hard to remember that even when our bodies like to remind us the mind still thinks it is in it’s youth. Communication is a big issue all over the world not in just our families. Communication break down is the cause of many things that do not last and many family problems of all types. Thank you for pointing out this.
Glynis Smy | Aug 15, 2008 | Reply
RESPECT that word was the loudest word in your article for me, there is so little of it nowadays. I love it here in Cyprus, the families are so close, every sunday they all gather for lunch, huge families of all ages, the elderly live in their homes and they live a good age cared for by their families. This is lost in some countries. Respect. Good article Marie, as always
Mystical Whitewolf | Aug 18, 2008 | Reply
Hi Glynis,
I wish everyone understood the importance of RESPECT, no matter what age the person should be shown respect. It is how our young learn, if we show respect to them, we can teach respect to them. As to the families remaining together, you are so right. Not like it used to be in the years long ago. Where our elderly lived with us and we all benifited from them and their life lessons.