Nursing

I sit here and remember when nursing used to be my passion, my heart and soul, I loved it.

I wanted to be a patient advocate, I wanted to make a difference, be the nurse who stood up for my patient’s, who truly cared. But that is not the way it is, you are only your patient’s advocate if you are NOT rocking the boat, stepping outside the comfort zone.

I tried to make a difference, but as long as there are ass greasers and people standing in the corner trying to climb the corporate ladder, kissing someones ass there will never be a way to make a difference.

What once was a passion is now only a heartbreak, I can not believe I spent all those years busting my ass for this, I wasted all those years in school and as a nurse to have it come down to this REGRET.

Regret for what I thought I could change, and who it would matter to, and for the tears in my eyes when I sit down and write this, when I decide that this is the end of the line for me as a nurse.

I can’t kiss ass, go with the flow, I can’t not rock the boat when someone elses life is involved,

I can’t choose who is and isn’t a VIP patient, to me they are all someones VIP, not just the adminstrators mother or father or brother or sister, they should all matter, after all that is the reason nurses and everyone else in the hospital has a job.

I know that God has another plan for me and I am not sure what it is at this point, but when I find it I will know.