Five Sure Ways to Lose Weight

Just how many people keep struggling with attempts to lose weight? Just how many of us out there feel so bad about themselves that they think twice before they can step out of their room? Just how many think twice before they can commit themselves in a relationship due to low self esteem? All these are composite problems that arise out of a desire to shed weight, and shed lots of it. The irony of it lies in the fact that millions on the other hand are dying to gain weight. They have tried all manner of stuff to no avail. This article focuses on the former, those who need to lose!

1. Swallow food without chewing

Many underestimate this piece of advice, but it works! Chewing increases the surface area of any food we eat for enzymes to act upon it. Food that has been chemically digested by enzymes is then absorbed and assimilated, hence adding to our body weight. Swallowing without chewing reduces the surface area but fills the stomach. Undigested food is later released from the body as feces without adding to your weight! You got it, you don’t have to starve to lose weight!

2. Get an office or shop upstairs

This is a sure way of losing the extra pounds that have always made you look unattractive. Avoid the lift and walk to the eighteenth floor or the thirtieth for your shopping. For those seeking offices, better still. They will get used to walking up and down the stairs and lose weight in the process. It’s better than the normal effortless walk in the park with your pet dog!

3. Have lots of sex

Lots of sex, at least thrice a week should burn the calories that are adding up on your weight. Sex is more enjoyable than going to the gym, and even more fulfilling for many people. It doesn’t have to be with someone, for those who are still single, they can as well masturbate. It still burns the calories!

4. Try praying and fasting for a fortnight

You have been Christian or Muslim for a long time, yet when others fast to move closer to God, you are busy eating, nibbling away your time, perhaps hiding from fellow believers. Fasting for long periods, punctuated by drinking water time and again is a sure way of slowly but surely losing weight. Humans can survive for up to 14 days on water provided they have enough fat and protein to last them the entire period. It’s a sacrifice worth undertaking, and would surely move one closer to his or her god.

5. Amputation

You have tried all the others without success. This is last but not least in your attempt to lose weight. If you have been dying to lose five kilograms, cut of your hand. If you are ten kilos overweight, cut off a whole lower limb (thigh and leg). If more than twenty kilos please cut of your head or learn to appreciate yourself!