15 Things to Avoid During Sex

Disgusting behavior is a complete turn off while making love. The following are 15 things a man or woman should never do during sex or while making love. This list is not for grannies who are allergic to sex and sexuality, nor is it for high school students who should be busy doing home work. Enjoy!

  1. Talking about your ex – The last thing he or she needs to hear during that moment of passion is anything related to your ex, including the type of shoes he or she used to wear!
  2. Compare his size to the neighbor’s – You know what I mean. A man will strangle you if you talk about his small member and even go ahead and compare it with the neighbor’s.

  3. Making your hair – Some people, especially women, insist on combing or plaiting their hair while in the middle of some hot action. Isn’t that plain disgusting!
  4. Shout your ex’s name when you come – You know exactly what will happen after this. A man or woman should never shout the name of his or her ex at whatever point when making love, more so when…
  5. Crying – Tears are said to reduce men into women. Even though some women and even men cry during sex, it is a complete turn off for most people!
  6. Vomiting – Puking is disgusting whenever and wherever it happens. Avoid vomiting as much as you can when between the bed sheets!
  7. Farting uncontrollably – Some people have a tendency to break wind whenever they make love and the smell comes out so bad that you may want to run away. This is another no-no!
  8. Sleeping – If you sleep while making love and not after then it only means one thing to him or her, I won’t say what! The last thing anyone needs is you snoring away the night as he or she sweats silly.
  9. Praying – Some women are very funny. They start praying just before or during sex and really drive their man nuts. Why you can’t pray early enough is just beyond reason.
  10. Singing – Well, be it country music or reggae, singing is another thing you must avoid in its entirety whenever you make love!
  11. Losing bowel control – OK, perhaps you have a tendency to behave badly at times but losing bowel control is the least expected whether drunk or not.
  12. Shouting – Goodness, some people shout so much that they wake their neighbors and alert them to their baby making spree, why would you scream your lungs out in the name of making love?
  13. Picking your teeth – The little said about this the better. Nobody wants to have you opening your mouth and looking for stuck pieces of meat when you should have brushed and flossed your mouth yesterday.
  14. Talking about your in laws – Love making is a session for two, leave out everyone else including your parents or her sisters or his brothers and uncles!
  15. Arguing about money – Financial issues are not only sensitive but they are a turn off as well. Avoid talking about money when you want to get a little cozy.

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  1. A good list of do nots here Leo cheers

  2. Well-written piece.

  3. nice share . .its actually real.. . but never tried any of it.

  4. Have to say those are good tips!!!
    But I like dancing to music though, makes it fun!!! As they say Seal it with a kiss, then there is no talking or singing, just wide eyes looking straight at you!!!! ;)

  5. Hahahahahaha… I laughed my head off! very funny Jimmy. The vomiting thing… well I wouldn’t think you would indulge in sex if you felt sick and if your partner makes you vomit then I guess you shouldn’t be with them! I must admit I run for clips to tie my hair back but my husband likes to see my face when I am doing a certain thing that involves mouth action, if you know what I mean! LOL

  6. lol wow this is a funny piece

  7. There you go…… discussing financial issues and the two of you would land up sleeping in separate rooms, rather than a cozy section.

  8. Entertaining, with good tips.

  9. That is too funny!

  10. Made a great reading. But some of it left me like who would do that.

  11. Uma, the exaggeration was just my lighter side but there are queer people who even smoke while….you get the point?

  12. Lol the farting is actually possible anytime as we can’t control it when it comes to action.:-)

  13. ha ha ha… Great!

  14. Singing, hmm. I never thought about that. Love the article.

  15. Haha, good points.

  16. Interesting topic. Great advice.

  17. This is a good stuff. I like reading this article.LOL

  18. Rolling on the floor laughing this is some true comedy, I have always liked to watch sports during sex, but hey it can be exciting.

  19. hahaha, all very funny ones..
    Singing, hahaha, LOL…..
    Talking about the in-laws, should talk yesterday, spoil the mood.

  20. Some of them are really funny and some really…disgusting!

  21. I think you covered it!! Great article :) )))

  22. LOL. LOL. This is just too funny especially the farting and comparing his size to his neighbor… Keep writing about these funny things.

  23. Pretty good stuff.

  24. When going through the list, my only thought was “WHO DOES THESE THINGS???”.

  25. Interesting list. I was thinking myself “That’s disturbing and gross.” Other ones I was laughing at. By the way, did you receive my e-mail?

  26. Farting CONTROLLABLY (i.e. doing it deliberately for a laugh) is miles worse than farting UNcontrollably during the act. And yes, I know a girl who claimed her ex did this. He would look down at her and say in a loving voice “I’ve something very important to tell you” then he’d grin and fart. Probably why he’s now an ex…

  27. Excellent list! All No-No’s :)

  28. Lol! Good article!

  29. hahaha, informative

  30. Interesting posts lol ….
    ^ ^ don’t ever compare the size ^ ^

  31. very entertaining post! LOL!

  32. Do you think you can beat me in sports betting? It’s a free game with very nice prizes.
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  33. Quite valid, but why not sing? Great idea.

  34. Well written. Absolute entertainment.

  35. Singing should not be on the list. That’s a plus.

  36. stupid

  37. lol sex is the best topic for triond… :)

  38. This article kind of sucks.

    Of course vomitting is a no no. Half of these are obvious.

    Why would anyone possibly discuss money while having sex? You must have a messed up relationship if that happens.

    You can’t avoid “Farting Uncontrollably” because of that second word, “uncontrollably” means that you can’t stop…

  39. This is hilarious!!! Great share!!!!
    16. Sneezing- There is nothing like a blob of snob on your shoulder during intercourse

  40. Nice list!

    Philippine Holidays 2011

  41. funny

  42. nice one… read it twice just to make sure!

  43. A long one I must say!

  44. I like your article and I would like to respond to it in another article. Thanks.

  45. good stuff! – bowel control is definitely key to success :) !!

  46. Great article, made me laugh:)

  47. nice share

  48. Agree, most of these can be show-stoppers.

  49. Ha ha ha…certain things really made me laugh, Silaho.

  50. funny. i enjoy everything including above comments.

  51. The talking about in-laws was novel. Cool!

  52. Lucky for me I dont have to worry about any of what you included.Was a few I do worry over that didnt make your list but was interesting to read .

  53. Hilarious article, including the comments. C’mon guys it’s not serious.

  54. Interesting article, also very funny, you had me in stitches!! :-)

  55. Haven’t you finished yet does it for me.

  56. When the abdomens are crushing against each other flatulus is bound to happen. Very hilarious and interesting read Jimmy. Happy Birthday :)

  57. An intriguing article and some sound advice. It is so true.

  58. The facts are true

  59. very good!

  60. HIlarious….I could have used some of this advice when trying to get rid of my ex….I don’t think anything turned him off.

  61. Good and funny piece

  62. Thanks for giving me a smile on this dark and gloomy morning…

  63. Very nice!

  64. I don’t know how funny this is. A lot of this stuff does happen and there are ways to prevent some things. Like don’t eat beans before sex to cut down on the farting. Control the scream, it can be done. Just don’t smoke and have consideration for your partner. I think it’s a good list.
    Some do talk about things they should not. If theres such a thing as Sexual Etiquette, this article is the start.

  65. I don’t know how funny this is. A lot of this stuff does happen and there are ways to prevent some things. Like don’t eat beans before sex to cut down on the farting. Control the scream, it can be done. Just do not smoke and have consideration for your partner. I think it’s a good list.
    Some do talk about things they should not. If theres such a thing as Sexual Etiquette, this article is the start.

  66. # 13 is funny but I bet someone out there, does it all the time.

  67. Ahahahahaha! I enjoyed reading your article! :) ))

  68. Nice and a bit funny article :)

  69. bwahhh hahah really funny.. love it! ^-^

  70. Oh well thanks for rounding it up here.

  71. Loved it! Great article!

  72. Wow, that is certainly a comprehensive list. Unrealistic but comprehensive at least.

  73. Very funny and informative work. Keep it up!

  74. Excellent article!

    Balance and Success

    How to Get The Best Sleep Of Your Life

    Positive Habits and Success

    The Ultimate Secret of Self Confidence

  75. Funny :D
    But true!

  76. great share haha


    I was laughing all the way to the bedroon with this one.


  79. I agree. Praying should come before sex because it is holy, and the Lord God is the author. However, this should be in a marital relationship, not an extramarital, incestuous, or fornicative one.

  80. A great share Jimmy :) well done :)

  81. some comment by an internet troll was quite funny because he was oviously taking this light hearted funny article TOO SERIOUSLY.
    Great share!

  82. lol. But true :D

  83. Lolz….. This article is giving me cramps. hahahhaa

  84. cool list, these are true but there are exceptions and some of them or bodily functions that we sometimes dont have anycontroll over and not every partner is the same. some men dnt mind farting in bed. i think! lol

  85. haha laughed a lot while reading! LOL :)

  86. I don’t know about any other girl out there, but when I am folded in half with my knees beside my ears, a fart does occasionally slip out. It’s just one of those “oops” moments that you have to get past. Any time there is some vigorous loving goin’ on, things happen, some good, some smelly!! lol

  87. Enlightening. Will get my granny to read this.

  88. This is too much of a fiction, I’m afraid. No couple ever think of the thigs you have mentoned. Be more practical and pragmatic.

    Why don’t you write a piece something like, “What to think and think of during sex !”

    Israel Jayakaran

  89. nice share

  90. I would have to say I think most of these are common sense.

  91. These are really turn off.

  92. amazing.

  93. Losing bowel control and vomiting would definitely turn me off during sex.

  94. Pray for what, you should have elaborated on that.Ha. Ha… nice share, JImmy.

  95. Nice article but you should have added that noise making beds are also a nuisance. just kidding.

  96. Wow. This is the dumbest thing Ive read today. Singing? Sleeping? Talking about in-laws? Youre totally a virgin. Based on most of the “WOW U SMRT” comments, Id say the majority of your audience is too.

  97. nice share, thanks

  98. no c-c-c-rapping while havinig sex too. please…

  99. Thank You For this content..Very informative..

  100. lol! This list is funny.

  101. Good suggestion.

  102. Wow! It took so long to get down here that I forgot what I was gonna say.. Oh Yeah! For SHILAHO JIMMY (On January 30, 2011 at 9:59 am)..
    What should you do if the partner starts smoking?
    Slow down a bit..

    As to the 15 rules.. My experience is: anything that takes your mind off the focus at hand is the thing to avoid during sex.. Although #10. (singing) – depends on what’s being sung at the time (see young frankenstein for details).. Otherwise, ‘right on’.. very humorously accurate. =^D

  103. Nice share

  104. Lol entertaining!

  105. Reading all of these comments is even more entertaining than your list! But realistically, when you’ve been sharing a bed with someone for 23 years, some of these things happen. Once when I was pregnant, and he burped into my mouth while kissing me, I threw up. It happens. We’re doing life together.

  106. Oh wow, those were pretty funny. I hope nobody does any of those things…:)

  107. I have read this before and I still think it is funny. Most of the comments are funnier though I have to say. Keep them comming.

  108. Nice list of do’s and don’ts but who would sit there picking his teeth while making love. What if you want to fart, would you run to the bathroom?

  109. Cute article. Though I must say that my husband works hard to make it cry…..because he knows then that he is “that good”

  110. hehe. awesome article.


  112. This things really happens even if we say its common sense. Accidents really happens while doing it. Like for instance #6 its common sense not to do it but accidents really happens. Before my gf puked on me one time when she just cant handle the inches.

  113. nice share ;)

  114. i like this article

  115. Cool article!

  116. I have heard of people falling asleep during sex and maybe screaming but not picking your teeth that was kinda a funny one but im sure it could happen.

  117. I’m sorry but this was just so stupid.
    Some of them were realistic when drunk, high etc. but most of those (combing your hair?) was just silly.


  118. good work
    say something about it
    thank you

  119. LOL enjoyed your article…

  120. i died a lil inside after reading this article.
    i killed myself after reading the comments.
    im starting to wonder why they call it “common sense”, cuz it doesnt seem to be very common.

  121. Oviously written in jest! the only one I have experienced is someone who shouts loudly! Boy you have some hits on this one!! well done. LB

  122. “Tears are said to reduce men into women.”

    Apparently, a man is “reduced” into a woman (this is bad, because, you know, traits associated with women are inherently negative and unmanly). Hmmm, sounds awfully sexist (whether unintentionally or not) to me. I can’t believe no one else has noticed (or mentioned) this.

    “Even though some women and even men cry during sex, it is a complete turn off for most people!”

    It is not uncommon for women to cry when experiencing intense pleasure (not sure about men). It’s not something that can be so easily controlled.

    This article had the potential to be funny, but it failed.

  123. The 10th Commandment. Thou shall not read Newspaper nor text on your mobile phone because your lover will not find it funny!


  125. Actually, it is a compliment if sex makes a woman feel so good that she cries with joy. Unfortunately some of the other don’ts on this list really do need to be read by some people who think they’re being funny while doing any of this during sex. As for the sleeping, vomiting, and losing bowel control…….ummm, if you are determined to have sex with a drunk or someone who is sick, that’s not their fault!

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  127. funny, is indeed often the case, some of it will be a very useful guide)

  128. A very useful and funny guide for love making enthusiasts. hahaha

  129. This is the most ridiculous piece of writing I’ve ever seen. It’s poorly written and not funny. Yes, I do have a sense of humour but this is just plain pathetic. My guess is that the author has never participated in a consensual sexual relationship before and has gained his/her information from watching teen movies such as American Pie and the like.

    And anyone who genuinely believes that this is a well written piece needs their brain checked.

  130. Hahaha,,, this is some craziness but yes we must avoid such things if we are in our big rumble,,, :-)

  131. Well Said


  133. I would say most of these are obvious, but what’s wrong with shouting/screaming? I can’t help it if I think the crazy, wild, hot sex is awesome! If the neighbors hear me, oh well! What man doesn’t like when the woman is loud when he’s going hardcore at her? :)

  134. it’s so funny…….. nice one..

  135. How can anyone sleep in the middle of Action..

  136. Great but funny. Some of the things like farting and discussion about money can not be avoided.

  137. add avoid onion eating to the list.


  139. you are very wonderful……………………………… is a great job

  140. “A man will strangle you if you talk about his small member and even go ahead and compare it with the neighbor’s”

    Geez louise, I know this was just a figure of speech but maybe you should lighten up on the “strangling”. With all the domestic violence amongst young people and enormously high incidence of rape on our college campuses these types of comments should be filtered a little better.

    There are others ways you could have gotten the message across.

  141. good advice

  142. Wow. I make my girlfriend vomit when she goes down on me. I hold her head till she pukes and it gets my balls wet. Should I really be avoiding that? She says she likes it. I like it too. What do you think I should do?

  143. Very nice thank you
    someting duno before


  145. These should be common sense tips that really don’t need explaining. I mean losing your bowels?? Come on!!

  146. Wow, better to just have fun and shut up.

  147. None can be perfect all the time
    We must ignore certain blunders
    In a way we must secretly forgive
    One’s spouse may conceal irritation

    Sex is a joint venture of two
    To derive bliss supplied by God
    By utilizing a lovely technique
    For the enjoyment of two souls

    A woman need not be Sophia Loren
    Or the man a great Gregory Peck
    Both must understand each other
    And make maximum adjustment

    Point out with love the defects gently
    And extract self-defects by probing
    Never show shyness in this connection
    World continues due to sex only

    Both must acquire deepest pleasure
    For which mutual adjustment is a must
    This can be got through frank dialogue
    All the best couple for Heavenly pleasure

    The article is extremely useful
    Let author’s advice be considered
    Supply your role with true affection
    Then ecstasy will be surely extreme


  148. good…

  149. OMG LMAO….ths is to funny and yes we have all had some of the things on this no no list happen to us even if we do not want to admit it…and other things on this list I pray to God never happen in my bed. Great read I love this article!

  150. obvioulsy,,,, hahha

  151. LMAO verry funny thanks

  152. It’s funny. Woman must read it.

  153. Jimmy, how do you do this republishing with old comments in tact? That\’s impressive.

  154. poking fun at the act? v. good share!

  155. 154 comments and counting. Wow!

  156. thanks

  157. Good points. Thanks!

  158. #4 is hilarious. lol. Wow, you have a lot of comments on here.

  159. Why not singing? Only if you can\’t hold a note.

  160. Excellent article thanks

  161. I enjoy reading this. Short, simple, but very informative..! Nice share, buddy :)

  162. Great article!

  163. Very comical. o<o

  164. this article was entertaining…although I don’t know who would actually do #8 and #13…#13 went way beyond disgusting…and I could just picture #8–”excuse me baby, go ahead and continue what you’re doing, while I go to sleep!’

  165. Funny. Nice one. =)

  166. I think you are doing it wrong.

    but one thing it can be bad to compare the size even if it is favorable to the lover. For instance if my wife said “YOu are so much bigger than the neighbor” I would probably be like “why the hell do you think his wife is always having me over” then a big fight would erupt.

  167. That goes without saying, does it not?

  168. OMG… This article had me busting at the seams with laughter… People actually do this stuff..?

  169. Nice comment friend

  170. hmmmmmm i like this article…!

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