Relationship Advice
30 Kinky Sex Ideas to Spice Up Your Sex Life
Kinky Sex Ideas to Try and Do
Sex is a creative expression of love and lust and a healthy sex life allows for experimentation. So long as no one gets hurt, kinky sex is, generally, good for you. However, while it’s healthy to push boundaries and overcome fears, or shyness, in the bedroom it’s not healthy to overstep hard boundaries. I.e. the kind of boundaries where people aren’t just overcoming inhibitions, but rather pushing themselves to do something they actually don’t want to do. That shouldn’t happen.
Below you’ll find some great ideas for spicing up your sex life with these kinky sex ideas, and things to try to have more kinky fun in the bedroom!
1. Dirty, Sexy Clothes and Underwear
Kinky things to try and kinky things to do in bed. Put on those leather pants, or a harness…choose a latex bra, a lacy lingerie outfit, or put on a pair of hooker boots. A little bit of a naughty dress code can create wonders in the bedroom!
2. Have Sex in Front of a Mirror
Men are visual creatures and having sex in front of a mirror, especially going down on them in front of a mirror they can look in, stimulate them in, well, wonderful ways… This is why men are usually drawn to porn and page three girls, while women read about a certain Mister Grey, because our sexual brains, as it were, get stimulated in different ways. Women often prefer words, while men usually prefer images. Of course, both men and women like a little bit of both though and there is always the exception to the rule! Here are kinky sex ideas (kinky shit) to try and do to spice up the bedroom.
3. Send Dirty Photos of Yourself
For the same reason men like mirrors, they like images. Women like images too, but they may prefer something a little bit less graphic than what some men do. Men have a tendency to want to show off their “pride and joy” in images they send, but women often get more turned on by hinting of what’s to come than giving the whole deal away.
4. Email Each Other Your Sex Fantasies
First of all, it’s important to remember that fantasies are fantasies and many fantasies were never meant to be realized. Just because someone has a fantasy of having sex with ten women simultaneously on top of a rooftop in Vegas in front of ten tigers wearing pink jumpsuits while it’s raining glitter (yes, I’m joking, "but if you know a person that has - share it :)" ) it doesn’t mean they actually want to do that. Other fantasies are meant to be explored, whether to a certain degree, or all the way.
Point being though, it’s healthy and sexy to share your sex fantasies with each other, especially ones that feature the both of you in them. You can even take turns writing a story, where one of you start something in one email, the other replies and build upon that story, etc.
5. Read Dirty Stories to Each Other
There are plenty of erotic books to be found in bookstores - from “mommy porn” like Fifty Shades of Grey, and erotic poetry, to the more heavy stuff. Reading these kind of stories out loud can give you both a kick.
6. Watch Erotica Together
If you can find the kind of erotica you both like, be it soft porn, a movie like 91/2 Weeks, or something more dirty, you can use it as part of your foreplay.
Just remember not to compare yourself to the people in the movies; you’re together because you find each other attractive so there’s not reason you’d be jealous of the stars of the movies.
7. Send Each Other Dirty Text Messages
You can do anything from sending a simple “I can’t stop thinking your pants off” to something a lot naughtier; it builds up sexual tension and make you both look forward to what’s to come when you’re alone…
Remember as well, that dirty texts aren’t just for when you are apart, but also for when you are together, but absolutely can’t have sex. Like in the middle of a wedding ceremony. OK, so maybe don’t send a dirty text in the middle of a wedding ceremony, but you get the drift: building sexual tension when you know you can’t have sex.
8. Do a Boudoir Shoot Together
Whether you hire a professional to take pictures of the two of you together (i.e. a sexy and fun shoot, nothing too graphic - available in most bigger cities), or you use a camera yourselves to take photos of one another doesn’t matter as much as the excitement of doing it.
There’s one thing to remember with photos though: if you aren’t a professional the photos can come out looking…rather horrible. Just because someone can’t catch you in the right angle (and some people really can’t) doesn’t mean you look unsexy.
9. & 10. Talk Dirty in Bed and Say What You Like
Words stimulate in another way than caresses, so use them! And for those who don’t like it to get too dirty, things like “I love seeing you naked” is as dirty as it needs to be.
This ties into giving compliments in the bedroom. Weird as it may sound, some people forget to say how much they like seeing their partner naked, how much they like it when they get kissed in a certain way, how hot they think it is when their partner does a certain thing, etc. It’s really important (and hot) to share that stuff. It builds trust between the two of you as you assure each other of how sexy you find one another. Trust, in turn, opens people up to try more kinky stuff. And simply having your partner relax because they feel sexy is going to make sex that much more enjoyable!
11. Tie Them Up
Tying someone up, or using handcuffs of some sort (there are really soft ones that use satin, etc. not just the stereotypical metal ones) is a nice way of experimenting with dominance, but it can also be something cute, like tying someone up and then stroking their body with a feather.
There are endless ways of tying someone up, be it with a tie, a rope, or a chain. Just be sure there’s a way for the person to get out if something happens…
12. Tell Someone What to Do
Dominate someone by taking charge and telling them what to do to you. If you like you can experiment with a bit of role play here, like one of you being the teacher and the other the student.
13. The Sexy Massage
Giving someone a massage with a happy ending can be extremely kinky! It’s all about what body parts you massage and how.
14. The Trench Coat
As a woman you can wear a trench coat and nothing else one day when you’re out on a date.
15. Pretend You Don’t Know Each Other
It can be a big turn on to arrange a meeting in a bar, pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and then going home for a one night stand.
16. Spanking
Giving someone a spanking with the back of a hairbrush, using your hand, or a whip, can be a big turn on for many people. For those who don’t like the idea of pain, remember that you don’t have to spank someone hard for it to be kinky! For some a certain level of pain can bring pleasure as it gets the blood flowing and sensations can heighten, for others it’s the idea of someone dominating them, or punishing them, that makes it a kinky experience.
17. Get It On in Public
While you might not want to get yourself arrested for having sex in public (really a bad idea), hands traveling under skirts and to other…unsuitable…places is another cup of tea entirely and can be a big turn on.
If you want to get it on all the way in public, a sex party might be your best bet.
18. Have Sex in Nature
Having sex in public, yet in a secluded place where no one will see you, turns a lot of people on.
19. Try Role Playing
Whether there’s a doctor or nurse that needs to “examine” you, or one of you suddenly turns into a stripper, or a sexy secretary, things can get raunchy. There are lots of ways of playing games that can spice things up. Some like using costumes, some get seriously into their roles, others just play around a bit with the idea of something.
20. Blindfold Each Other
Letting someone blindfold you and then please you in whatever ways they can think of can be kinky!
21. Have a Threesome
If you’re comfortable with it, a threesome can be a real kick!
22. Sneak a Peak
Another kinky turn on for some people is having sex while others are watching, or watching others having sex. You don’t share partners, you just watch. Or you simply all have sex at the same time, but no sharing.
23. Swinging
If you want to actually share partners, then swinging is the name of the game. You can organize it with friends who are into the same thing, find partners on websites, or attend a swing party. If you join the polyamorous community in any given city you’ll also find people who are open to sharing, as it were. Such communities are founded on trust and might be a better option than strangers in a club…
24. Hot and Cold
Tease your partner by alternating between putting something hot and cold in your mouth and then kissing them. If you suck on a mint at the same time it will heighten the experience.
25. Kinky Dessert
Why not serve dessert on your lover’s body? Lick it off…
26. Touch Them Up
Using different materials can stimulate people in different ways. Stroking/caressing someone’s body with something furry, with silk gloves, with an ice cube, with a whip, etc. can be a big turn on. You can blindfold them first and use different materials as you go along, of just settle for one. In fact, just wearing gloves turn some people on.
27. Playing Footsie
A woman in high heels kicks them off underneath the table in a restaurant and starts to stroke her lovers legs, working her way up, using her feet. This can be kinky alright!
28. Costumes
The sexy nurse outfit, the raunchy police officer, the geeky sex kitten…for some it’s not about role playing, it’s simply just seeing the uniform that does it for them! For others, combining a uniform with role playing is their kind of kink!
29. Bathing or Showering Together
Scrubbing someone down in the shower, or hot tub, can be an extremely sensual experience. Maybe not all that kinky, but that depends on what you’re doing to them, of course!
30. Sex Toys
Sex shops offer an endless array of toys (and online ones have made it extremely easy to find what you are looking for). Using a vibrator that stimulates both of you can lead to a memorable and kinky night, as can pretty much any other good toy out there.
There you have it. Fun ideas to spice up the bedroom by doing creative sex ideas with this list of kinky things to do. Some may call it kinky shit, but they are creative to try on your man or partner is always thoughtful for a couple that needs to spice things up.
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