For all of us, kissing is something instinctive. But there’s a difference between a kiss and one that knocks you off your feet. You probably want to experience that one kiss that’ll give you shell shock, you know what I’m talking about, that kiss. We all have it in us to be able to kiss well and with passion. For many of us, though we have it in us, we’re scared when it comes to that moment where we have to kiss the guy we like. Which, I completely understand. I think my first real kiss was a disaster, actually, I can’t even remember it, that’s how traumatizing it was for me. Though kissing a guy is for the first time can be a scary thing, don’t worry, once you do it, you’ll get the hang of it in no time.

Don’t over think it

This is the problem with most of us, we overthink the first kiss. We’ve all watched Hollywood chick flicks and this is what throws us off balance. We want that first kiss to be like how it is in the movies. But you shouldn’t be putting that pressure on yourself, I mean, they practiced that kiss twenty times before they got it right. See what I mean? You can’t put so much anxiety and pressure on yourself, just breath because this won’t be your last kiss.

Get into the rhythm

You need to get yourself into the rhythm. When you first kiss him/he kisses you, most likely it’ll be without tongue. The tongue will come later, so don’t worry. Now when you start kissing each other, you two are going to develop a groove, a rhythm which you’ll want to naturally follow. Don’t try to force something, let it grow naturally. If you focus too much on trying to rush it or take it to the next level, you’ll destroy the connection you’re developing. So, go with the flow.

Close your eyes

Whether you’re kissing him first or he’s kissing you, close your eyes. Now, don’t close your eyes when you’re further away from him, you want to have him close to your face so that he can just move in. Watching him move into you is really sexy to watch. The closer he gets to you, the tension will build and when you go in for the kiss, close your eyes and take in the moment.

Let him lead the kiss

If you go in for the kiss, that’s totally fine, but let him then to take control. He’ll touch your lips softly, put his hand on your chin or side of your face and then slowly pull you in, so you’ll feel the pressure on your lips. Don’t squeeze your lips together, allow your lips to be relaxed and naturally set. No one wants to kiss a wall, so, you have to relax your lips. But, that doesn’t mean you relax your jaw, just your lips.

No tongue right away

If it’s your first kiss, you don’t need a tongue being rammed down your throat. Short, sweet kisses are beautiful for your first kiss. You can also have long, closed-mouth kisses (aka no tongue), it really depends on the energy and atmosphere around you. If it gets a little heated, which it may happen, he may start to use tongue in which you can either go with it or stop.

Everyone kisses differently

You probably think that this kiss will be how everyone kisses which is wrong. Everyone kisses differently. Some people have wet kisses while others have dry kisses, some don’t like using tongue while others use too much tongue. This really just depends on the person and their experience with kissing. For a first kiss, short or long closed-mouth kisses are really the best. It’s a great way to start and see how you connect with him.

So…where do you put your hands?

Good question. Where do you put your hands while you’re kissing him? You can put your hands basically anywhere you want, it just depends on what you’re trying to say to him. If you don’t want to touch him, you don’t have to. That won’t look bad, so don’t think that’ll give him the “I’m not interested in you” vibe. If you do want to touch him, you can put your hands on his arms, side of the face, around his neck - these areas aren’t so forward and leave him enough room to touch you while he’s kissing you. You can put your hand on his thigh, but you should know that by doing that, you’re showing him your ready for something more advanced.

Keep those hands moving

If your hands are on his shoulders, they don’t have to be sitting there like limp noodles. This is your chance to feel him and build the tension between you two. So, move your hands around. Not too fast, remember you’re building the tension so keep it nice and slow. Caress his shoulders, run your hands down his arms, squeeze his forearms.

Now if you don’t want him to touch you, if you’re not ready for that, that’s completely fine. Instead, what you then need to do is lead his hands to where it’s ok for him to touch you. Or you can hold his hands as well. Then, when you’re ready, you’ll be able to guide him to where you want him to touch you. He’ll get the message, if not, just tell him you’re not ready for that just yet.

Make sure to move your face

I know, it sounds weird but you want to make sure that you move your face around, that way to can direct where you want him to kiss you. If you move your head to the side, he can kiss you on the cheek, if you move your head down, he’ll be able to kiss you on the forehead. How you move your head will help him to kiss you where you want.

Don’t rush the kiss

This is your first kiss - don’t rush it! Enjoy literally every single second of it. It’s not like you’re going to have another first kiss again. I know you’re probably nervous, but what you need to do is take a deep breath and just live in the moment. Your first kiss may not end with just one kiss, it may be a couple kisses, or you may spend the next couple hours kissing. If the first kiss goes well, you won’t want to stop kissing each other.

Listen to your gut

After your first kiss, what does your gut say? Do you feel a connection? A tingly feeling in your stomach? If you do, then there’s something between you two. But, if you feel like it was no big deal, like if something doesn’t feel right, then you need to follow your instinct. This won’t be your last kiss, so don’t worry, there are other guys out there. But, what’s important is that you follow what feels right rather than what you think you have to do.

Take care of your lips

No one knows where their first kiss is going to be, so you don’t want chapped lips. Keep them cared for my exfoliating and moisturizing them. You’ve seen people with chapped lips and you’ve probably had them before - they’re not fun to kiss. So, take care of your lips because when comes your first kiss, you want them smooth and soft. Plus, when you’re older, you’ll thank yourself for keeping your lips well taken care of.

You can kiss him in other places

You don’t have to only kiss him on the lips. Once you get more comfortable, you can kiss him on the neck or cheek. If you want to bite his lips you can, but, for a very first kiss, keep it relaxed. If you guys keep kissing, then you can start to suck, bite, nibble on his neck, cheeks and lips. Don’t rush, remember, you want to build up the tension between you two.

Don’t stress if it’s not perfect

If your first kiss isn’t what you hoped it would be, don’t stress out. My first kiss with one guy ended up in him kissing half my mouth. We dated for a year after that, so, it’s not like your first kiss will determine your future. So, chill out, if it’s not perfect, it’s okay. This is why people practice, right? If you want the perfect kiss, then I suggest you practice it with him.

Don’t forget to brush your teeth!

I sound like a mother when I’m saying this, but it’s true. Brush your teeth and if you can, use some mouthwash. It’s one less thing you have to worry about if you know your mouth is squeaky clean. Now, some moments, you won’t be able to brush your teeth before, which is fine, but if you can brush your teeth before the kiss, then do it. I’ve kissed so many guys right after eating garlic and I’m still here, so it’s not a deal-breaker, trust me.

Who thought kissing would have so many things to take into consideration? Don’t get stressed out while reading this, though it sounds like a lot of things to pay attention to, it’s not. Once you have your first kiss, you’ll realize that you have nothing to worry about. Just enjoy the moment you have with him and allow yourself to really feel this first kiss. First kisses are so exciting and symbolize you entering into a whole new chapter of your life.