Mental Health
How to Tell if Someone is a Lesbian
Whether you’ve recently come out or you’re straight and curious to know what the signs are, we’ll help you tell if someone is a lesbian or not. Maybe you’re not experienced with lesbian, thus, not being able to distinctively figure out if someone is a lesbian or not. If you’ve recently come out, then it’s to your benefit to figure out whether someone is a lesbian or not. Maybe you’ve gone to gay clubs but what about women you see on the street? What if you want to ask her out but you’re not sure about her sexual preferences? We get it. Over time, you’ll be able to figure out is she’s into you, but you need practice. So, here some helpful ways to figure out if someone is a lesbian or not.
Focus in on the eyes
If a woman is a lesbian, she’ll let you know with her eyes. Just like men, she’ll give you prolonged eye contact, letting you know that she’s into you. You’ll be able to feel when the eye contact goes over the normal time, it’s this feeling that you feel in your stomach. Now, this doesn’t mean she’s a lesbian but it does mean that she’s probably interested in you. If her eye contact is flirty, well then, you have yourself a sure sign that she wants you.
She’s vague about her dating life
She may be unsure where you stand sexually, so when you’re talking to her about dating, she’ll be very vague about her dating life. You may hear her say that she “dated someone” but she’s not so willing to add a pronoun to that person. Don’t push her, let her feel comfortable around you and then she’ll open up about her sexual preferences. Though the LGBTQ community is very large and proud, some people are not comfortable with expressing their sexual preferences immediately.
She lets you make a move
Maybe you really like her and want to make a move on her. You’re probably taking it slow and seeing if she responds positively to you touching her. If she responds positively then, she’s giving you the ok to take it to the next level. If she’s not into you, she’ll let you know. This doesn’t mean she’s a lesbian but this does mean that she’s sexually interested in you.
Her response to your sexual preferences
Have you told her that you’re into women? What did she say back? How did she react? This is a great way to see how she feels about it. Some women will be intimidated or uncomfortable at first, but you need to give them time to relax. Maybe she’ll tell you her sexual preferences and see where it goes from there. She may not be a lesbian, however, she may be bisexual and open to trying something out with you. You never know until you ask.
She flirts with you
If two heterosexual girls are sitting together, you won’t feel that flirtatious energy between them. Now, you’ll be able to tell if she’s interested in you if she’s flirting with you. Flirting is, in essence, the development of sexual chemistry. Try to subtly flirt with her and see her reaction. Is she flirting back with you? Now, it doesn’t mean she’s gay, it could be that she’s naturally flirtatious, however, you can continue flirting and see how far it goes.
You feel it
If you pay attention to your gut instinct, you’ll be able to feel it. We can all feel when someone is sexually attracted to us, however, when you’re busy looking for signs you often miss the ones that are right in front of you. So, pause for a moment and listen to your intuition, what is it saying to you? If you’re feeling strong sexual vibes well then you’re probably right. Over time, you’ll be able to feel this immediately, this just comes with experience.
Short fingernails
This is a stereotype, but it does hold some truth to it. If she has short fingernails, then there’s good chance she may be a lesbian. Short fingernails are because they know that the vagina is a sensitive area. Long fingernails could do a lot of damage. But fingering isn’t the only way women have sex with each other, so, lesbian could have either long or short fingernails. Then again, women in general, have both long and short nails, so it can be a little challenging to go by this sign.
They point out your queerness
Maybe you didn’t even notice your attraction to women, however, this girl is pointing out your lesbian tendencies. This isn’t a bad thing, in fact, this is a great sign that she’s into you. She’s trying to get you to see that you may like having a sexual experience with another woman. Maybe you two have been hanging out recently and she’s pointed it out a couple time. Maybe there was some intense eye contact, you felt all of a sudden very warm. So, it obvious that she’s hinting to you what she wants to try out with you.
She’s all about the compliments
She loves to compliment you. She tells you how beautiful you look, that you have a sexy smile, you know, she’s dishing it out. Heterosexual women do compliment other women but not with as much intensity and frequency. If she’s always telling you how beautiful you are, well, she means it. No one compliments you that much for nothing - she’s into you.
She’s nervous around you
Your heterosexual friends aren’t nervous around you. In fact, they don’t even notice you’re sitting beside them, they’re too focused on some guy they’re texting. But this girl, she stuttering when she speaks to you, her hands are clammy, she’s a nervous wreck. When someone likes you, they’re physically awkward and socially unable to interact. Now, if she finds you attractive, you’re going to notice her behaviour change and not from jealousy. If you see her freaking out while she’s sitting next to you, it’s safe to say that she’s into you and she doesn’t want to mess this up.
She get jealous when you bring up other people
If you’re talking about some other girl or guy, she may show signs of jealousy. Now, this doesn’t always mean she’s a lesbian, maybe she doesn’t like him/her as a person, but more likely than not, she’s jealous of someone else having you. If you find her beomcing enrage with anger or passive aggressive, well, there’s a sign. In this case, you should ask her what’s wrong and talk about how she’s feeling. She may come out and express her feelings for you and that’ll help clear up any misconception you had.
All those little things
Now, women are great at remembering details, so this could be a little challenging if you’re just using this sign as a way to figure out if she’s into you or not. But, typically, if you’re interested in someone, you’ll remember all those little details that they told you in their stories. What they like to eat for breakfast, what their favourite colour is, you know, literally every detail that doesn’t apply to their lives. But for you, they know it all. If someone doesn’t care about you, they wouldn’t save this information in their brains, not a chance. So, if someone is remembering all the details, it’s because they’re into you.
They spend a lot of time with you
You see her more than you see your other friends. She loves spending all her free time with you. Whether it’s hanging out alone or with a group of friends, she’s right by your side. Now, if she’s into you, she’s going to make sure that no one else tries to swipe you under their arms. She’ll be beside you during the entire house party you’re at and she’ll be the one that’s by your side when something goes wrong. This girl is into you, so she has your back.
Has an excuse to touch you
Maybe she accidentally touched your breasts or ass, but she has a valid excuse for that. Or she gives you a shirtless back massage because you’re feeling tense. She’s trying whatever she can do touch you. Maybe you don’t realize it but if you’re naked by the end of the night because she wants to give you a body rub, well, that’s a good sign that she’s into you. That’s also a pretty good sign that you may be into her as well.
She tells you
If she tells you that she’s into you, well, then you no longer have to look for the signs. She stopped your wild good hunt and has given you the answer you needed to know. This is, hands down, the best way to find out if she’s a lesbian. Her telling you how she feels is a big step and opens herself up to vulnerability and rejection. If you feel the same way, great! If not, tell her how you feel and don’t treat her feelings as if they mean nothing. Regardless of how you feel sexually, she’s a friend of yours and above all, a human being.
Now that you know the signs she’s a lesbian, take a look at the relationship you have with her. You’ll need a couple of these signs to give you a better picture if she’s into you or not. If you think she’s into you, be the one to take the first move and try it out. What do you have to lose?
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